healthy and beauty, How To, humor, self-help, sleep, Uncategorized, Writing Stuff

Get Your Nails Did! Or don’t…

We have been taking some inventory as to where we are taking Rita Slanina into this new decade and well? I’ve got nothing. IMG_2572

Not a clue. No idea. Not one iota of a thought.

Seriously.

I’ve grazed through all the old blog posts, youtube videos, music albums, thespian ventures and book projects and it seems the way to somewhere… vacant with possibilities. And yet, so many possibilities, I’m thought-adjacent vacant.

Huh?

With 2020 forging on, I can’t help but feel that I’ve made sure to take a look back at yesteryear and really take pride in the new skills I’ve learned and shared with you all, offer up book suggestions that I’ve enjoyed and/or learned from, and really take an overall interest in what the future should look like for me and us here at ritaslanina.com.

I would like to venture into some fun videos this year. Yay! A few shopping hauls, another book list (naturally, said the author), and some writer and actor tutorials for you guys as well. Woohoo! Maybe even a couple vlogs from some upcoming trips planned for this year. You know, that inside peek at what I run around doing. So BOSS. As, I compile the massive list of “OMG – I. MUST. DO. IT. ALL”

IMG_1395The reality is, I just cannot do it all. Nope. At least, not with a family and all that in tow. As women, we gotta choose you know. No you don’t! Yes. You do.

*hears gasps and rejections erupt

I can’t say I’ve done nothing. But, I can say that I’d wish I could do more. MORE. MORE! How much more can you get? As much more as I want, elephant pants!

Maybe sacrificing that wonderful sleep a bit is where it’s  at… hmmm, thoughts abound.

 *insert opposing scenarios here*

HOW IT SHOULD PLAY OUT: She’s bright-eyed and bushy tailed, every moment that’s called upon her. Sleeps 3hrs/night and never has bloat face. She’s SO happy it makes everyone around her nauseas. Accomplishing goals so fast, she has time to spa day, chill on the beach, and brunch with the girls. *Garcon! Pelligrino for the table, si vous plait. Room temp.

HOW THAT ACTUALLY PLAYS OUT: sleep deprived, she wanders into her office, hair falling out of the half-assed bun she put together as she filled an overflowing third cup of  coffee before 6AM. Spills the cup. Then refills while cursing the cracked carafe of the coffee pot she has yet to replace. She sits at her laptop to get in some work on her manuscript. A case of writer’s block conveniently arrives – decides to move onto emails. Oh, wait, check casting notices… Moments later, hubby walks in on her passed out on the keys of said laptop. 

So, what does this all mean?

Sadly, not much. Argh. I know. There’s also this other side of me which wants to just kick pexels-photo-1030973back and chill. *sings, “Do you like pina coladas” as loud as possible. Re-align with my inner chi or some ish. Ohm. But, doing that would require a pullback from all things professional, I suppose. NO! Don’t! It be great to integrate that into ritaslanina.com but that’s just not part of this company’s M.O. Or is it?

Enough. 

I’ve decided pulling back the reigns a bit and re-harnessing my energies will be the best strategy going forward. Let’s see where that yellow brick road takes me!

IMG_5206Our first video of the year is up NOW on my channel. Check it out! It’s a lifestyle DIY video on doing your own acrylic nails. I started doing my own nails as more of a curiosity as to how easy/difficult it would be. And? And, it just wasn’t as difficult as I thought it be. The time it took me to do my nails vs. sitting at a nail salonwas about the same. However, the cost of doing them myself vs. sitting at a nail salon was far worth it. There are kits available everywhere and great deals. The amount I have spent on tools and products to accomplish this feat was approximately the same as one salon visit! And it has paid for itself 4-fold now. I have enough product to last me for quite a bit of fills and full sets.

If I haven’t convinced you to attempt this at home yet, watch the video below! Remember to like, comment and subscribe!! hugs!

Please take a peek at our sponsor for this post, they have great products and if you want a good starter kit, they have one! Oh, and check this  out… there’s a spring sale happening right now too! Ya’ll know I love saving that cheese!

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house and home, humor, relationships, sleep

Pillow Fight Survival Games

COME ONE! COME ALL!

AND WELCOME TO THE PILLOW FIGHT SURVIVAL GAMES!

The what? Quiet… Just listen.IMG_0465

For some reason, I have been kicking off the bed sheets at night and as of this morning, I woke up to every pillow on the floor. And all the sheets on the other side of the bed and/or the floor. Okay… The rumor is that I’m having night terrors in my sleep but if that was the case, wouldn’t the hot guy next to me be waking up with a black eye and bruises?

Is he?

No. He is not.

IMG_0439.jpgActually… I think he’s finding this whole – throw every linen off the bed – thing, hysterically funny.

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I got up this morning like I normally do, got the morning routine knocked out, etc. The next thing I know, 7 AM rolls around, the sun is up… and I’m seething in pain! Now, I don’t know if that means I overdid it editing for 8 hours yesterday, and then hitting the computer desk again for another few hours of busy work this morning; (or your killer workout for that upper body on Saturday…) But, I’m feeling quite certain that it was the no-pillow having mattress I woke up to this morning. Wait, what?

Takeya USA

Look. Waking up with his arm in my neck isn’t exactly ideal. And a stiff neck due to pillow deprivation was not how I preferred to execute my daily activities. I am  definitely a believer that this is an open and shut case of the neck hook sleeper monster. Huh? Oh yeah, definitely that. True story. No it’s not. You got me. I made up the monster. I figured. More on that in another post! Please don’t. Oh… it’s done. *sigh

Spooning is literally the best sleeping position ever. Why it’s called the fetal position when you sleep alone and only when a secondary person sleeps next you is it called spooning, is beyond me. I think it should be called FPsquared.  A quandary. Indeed.

FiveStar

Not really.

Oh,

Anyhow, superman is so much bigger than me that I am like a baby joey in the front pocket of a kangaroo, except with a large arm that falls literally right in the crick of my neck. Literally… and figuratively. Just kidding. He’s not a pain in my arse all the time.

Bugatchi 1600x300

*looks around the room for a witness to me notating air quotes on “all the time.”

Circling back, I mapped out a game plan to retain my body pillow in close proximity of my blanket and now pillow thief. Here it is:

  1. Build a pillow wall in the middle of the bed with the extra, unused puff comfy’s that usually sit on the floor at night.
  2. Hug as tightly as possible to my body pillow – and blankets – as squishy tight as possible. Resistance is futile. Right.
  3. Swat away any sneaky, unsuspecting large man arms from turning my comfort zone into a pillow fight war zone. How? I don’t know… fly swatter? Cookie bait on the nightstand? That might work.
  4. There is no number four. That’s all I got for ideas. Then why do you have it written down? Just in case something comes to mind before I post. *slaps forehead

BOOMIMG_0283.jpg

BEGIN IMPLEMENTATION SEQUENCE TONIGHT.

T-minus 1200 hours. Stop it.

T-minus some amount of hours closing in til’ bedtime. Knock it off. 

Fine. Anyway, I think I’ve been watching too many sci-fi movies lately. You have. 

So what if he seizes all the cushions and quilts tonight? I’m glad you asked… I do have an alternate scheme in order to retain my bedding on my side.

Well, what is it? 

Ready? Oh geez, get on with it. Okay here it goes…

# BACKUP PLAN #

PILLOW FIGHT

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healthy and beauty, humor, self-help, sleep

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It’s official. I’m on my death bed.

Oh geez. 

I’ve been pronounced sick. Officially, by whom? Okay, not a doctor. I’m not a fan of those. Then who…. Oh, one of my friends. *slaps forehead. And I think I’m dying. You’re not dying.

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Okay, it’s a little post-karaoke, Irish pub, pre-wedding party people, sinus/head thing. What?

Damn Irish bastards. And that mango beer.pexels-photo-206396.jpeg

Rumor has it that you show symptoms of the cold you catch three days after the bug violates your system. Meaning? I don’t know how true this rings for ya’ll but this is what my mommy told me. *looks around for any mom’s listening

And since mom’s are ALWAYS right….

Therefore, this means, that it’s likely I caught this deadly flu during our singing disco night.

You wanna question momma? Go for it. I’m not going there. I imagine some typhoon from The Bible will come swoop my ass away if I Do it. So, by all means, agitate the universe. I’ll watch.

Fast forward to waking up on Monday with a tickle in my throat. Actually, more like apexels-photo-1.jpg freaking cat had been clawing the inside of my throat like a scratching post. Eyes puffy. OH, and the feeling I was hit by a giant truck. Like, um, you know the ones they drive on military bases. A tank. Yup. Definitely a tank hit me. A tank filled with a gaggle of handsome men in uniform!

Focus. 

If you’ve been reading for a while, or you know me personally, you’ll notice I don’t often get sick. But, geezaloo, when I do! WHAM! It takes me out like a tranquilizer dart that’s just hit a raging rhinoceros in the African desert! Yeah, teeth and all. And the horn thingie too.

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CUE AUSSIE ACCENTED NARRATION: *Kronkie! A sight we’ve nary seen, folks! Out here on the plain, it appears we’ve caught a glimpse of the horned-Rita-buffalo-rous. This majestic creature seems to be in a fit of psychotic looniness. Ladies and gents, she’s got the flu. Oh no, no… she’s spotted us. Move! Move! Move! Get the tranqs!

Um, wow.cactus-eyes-book-pot-159840.jpeg

I know! So vivid! And scary.

And dramatic.

Circling back. It’s now Thursday and I’ve been freaking useless for four days. I’m pacing my bedroom and have gone through my second box of tissues. 85 count. My bestie has literally chased me down the past two days -every four hours- with an over-the-counter medication cocktail that not only tastes horrific; but, literally makes me feel sicker than I already am. Oh, but then I pass out – and according to her – that’s the perk to the whole deal!

I barely take ibuprofen. Or eat real salad dressing.

IMG_6653.JPGSo here I am. On a Thursday. Drugged up on a NyQuil and Mucinex aperitif. Swimming in a cough syrup-laden linen swamp. What? Oh, yes, I may have forgot to mention that my bed has become a breeding ground for spilled containers of medicinal beverages. Menthol aromas abound.

Shit. It’s been four hours.

CUE HANDSOME AUSSIE NARRATOR AGAIN: *Behind the bedpost of the four-poster bed, we see “the bestie” tracking the mysterious and ill, horned-Rita-buffalo-rous. With her tranquilizer weapon tablespoon of choice, she moves in on this beast with the grace of a gazelle.

“Hold her down! I’ve got the elixir on the spoon! Go, Go! Now!”

So traumatic. It wasn’t. IMG_0870

Nah, it’s all good. She just poison me again. She didn’t poison you.

And then left me all alone. Again. OMG.

So lonely. Stop it. 

It’s… getting… dark…

ZZZzzz….

*Special thanks to bhcosmetics.com, heatandcool.com