fashion, healthy and beauty, How To, humor, self-help, Uncategorized

Knockout Nail Rehab

This week I thought it was time for a DIY.  Oh no. It’s been a while since we’ve done one pexels-photo-1367219.jpeghere and this one is a fun one! Yay! For the girls, anyway! And maybe for the guys too, who like to look at ladies’ with nicely manicured hands. And for the guys who don’t? Well… I guess I’m not talking to you and your exempt from this convo. No biggie.

Hopefully, it won’t be like the pumpkin seed fires of 2015, Or the alien abduction attempt of 2017. Oh, and this has zero to do with a zombie apocolypse; however fun that might be but as we females continue to do things to ourselves to keep a man’s attention… in some sense, it is a bit zombie-like. No? What the…?

Stay with me here.

nail polish

As long as I’m a hot and sexy zombie, with cute long nails, I’m cool with it. Let’s keep it real… I’m not going down the old lady train without a cat-fight.

*sigh, slaps foreheadpexels-photo-939834.jpeg

If you’re not a chickadee… maybe you’re a hubby, or a boyfriend, that’s cool… keep listening, this will save you money in the “keep my wife beautiful” fund!

Who doesn’t like more money in their pocket?!

Exactly!

pexels-photo-1819560.jpegMy budget includes a fat column for vanity. Shocker. I know. It’s a weakness. I love anything beauty, sexy, girly, hottie, cutie, sweet, adorbs, cheeky, glittery, sparkly – oh geez, we get the picture – Oh! okay, great! This isn’t to brag about money or anything like that, it’s literally that I have a budget and it includes a lot of girl crap. And in order to keep a handle on it, I’ve got a budget that tells me NO! when I’m getting close to going to far with said chick poo.

Your budget shouts at you?

Yup. Totally does. Now that I think about it…

We argue quite a bit actually.

Anyway, I generally get my nails done at the salon and the reality is I was spending close to two hundy’s a month! Hundys? That’s a hundred dollar bill y’all! – hunded, hunded, hunded dolla bills – sad attempt at a cool rapper voice. Yes. In my last album, I think I did some decent raps in a couple of songs; but it’s likely other rappers may not agree. Since I don’t claim to be a rapper on any type of front, whatsoever.

Nobody cares –  back to the nails, please.

Okay, okay. Not a rap fan? Fine.

So, circling back, it was about a two month set of tests, with trial and error, for this DIY.

A nail scientist? Totally! Oh criminy.

                                                                                              Up to 60% off for hot sale products

I love going to the salon – lies– yes, true… I actually detest going to the salon. Its crowded, its like a puppy mill for for women, who get sucked in and churned out in 90 minute intervals for the gorgeous factor, and I am NOT a fan of sitting there footsie in the water getting to prune-scale all in the name of that #hotstufflife. Even when they double you up as you get a mani-pedi simultaneously, its just horrifically tedious.

Are you done complaining? No. I got more.

I can’t play on my phone I can read -literally – one page of a book because after I’ve gotten into my page they have confiscated all my limbs to get the beautifying job done. Leaving me without any means to turn the page to read the next chapter. Fail.

pedicure-massage-therapist-spa-161737.jpeg

And ladies, you know no one else is happy to be there either. There’s sort of this weird vibe where the other broads are irritated and/or annoyed or something to be there. And as much as we try to ignore it, misery loves company.

No fun.

When I go to the salon, I want to feel uplifted and gorgeous; not depleted and dragging.

                                                                                                                    $3 Registered Coupon

Dare I mention the hectic drive to get to said beauty torture routine? You dare. Seriously, the extra drive time, the A.D.D. that happens when I see a drive through coffee shop, or shopping mall… it has done me in on many an occasion, btw. It usually turns up a search party for the disappearing Rita. I can’t help it. I LOVE shopping. I don’t do it too often these days but send me out for a nail rehab, and your sure to find me avoiding it. I’d almost rather go to the dentist.

Click for Born Pretty Nail Products!

Moral of the story?

You like going to the dentist?

No. It’s that doing my own nails was much easier than I thought it would be…

And, men…. you gotta appreciate the hell we put ourselves through to be beautiful for you.

Oh and one last tip. Even if you have trouble painting one hand, you can always paint the nail tips ahead of time before applying.

Enjoy the DIY fellow beauty zombies!

***And if you need product, click the affiliate links and buy what you need with today’s sponsor: 

nail polish

healthy and beauty, house and home, humor, self-help, Uncategorized

Hard Water Woes

Hard water. Yuck!women-modeling-style-skin.jpg

Most people – especially, from the city – have  never even heard of this…

but, it is totally a thing. Really?

…And it dries out your skin, and turns your hair into a crack whore masterpiece. “Uh, paging Dr. PimpStreet. Paging Dr. PimpStreet. We’ve got a situation…”

Mega Sale – Shop 40% Off

It doesn’t happen immediately, although, it does it within a few days. I thought I’d attack my crispy hair problem with moisturizing shampoos and conditioners that were too damaging to my hair before; but, now, may perfectly moisturize accordingly. It helped? A little. In a more, it’s got a sheen that is clearly matted down like a wet mop, kind of way. Whoa not good.

Baiji Bottle Collapsible Silicone Water Bottles – Sports Camping Canteen 20 Oz. – Easy To Clean And Store

As I’m over-moisturizing my skin aggressively too, I’ve learned – through google (rolling eyes that this is my only go-to) – that only masks the problems and makes the dry skin worse. Uh.. what? Dampness equating to MORE withered husk. Wonderful. 

Come on, flakey skin!pexels-photo-260405.jpeg

Does that make any sense to anyone…

Alternatively, I tried another “remedy” to my pipe cleaner strands from hell. Oils. Rubbing the scalp with argan, coconut, and even caster oils is supposed to assist.

Um… Nope. Just sopping oils dripping from my scalp. *frustrated sigh

Depending on the source, hard water is not a health hazard and then it can be a health hazard. Ummm… so is it? Or isn’t it?                                                                                                  

get a filter!! click to buy at amazon!!


One will never know unless they test the arsenic level in the hard water. Yup, you read correctly… Arsenic level. Interesting stuff, no?

Ugh. Great, now my water is trying to kill me out here in the sticks. Dramatic much?

Depends on who you ask…

Desert Oasis take over – Free Gold Mini Angled Kabuki w/ Purchase (7/10 & 7/11)

“While some studies suggest a correlation between hard water and lower cardiovascular disease mortality, other studies do not suggest a correlation. The National Research Council states that results at this time are inconclusive and recommends that further studies should be conducted.” (source: water-research.net)

PSA Announcement, Ladies and Gents..pink-hair-selfie-bun.jpg

Awesome.

Cardiovascular disease mortality.

Gotta love the perks of this hard water thing. Or not thing.

Cheap Last Minute Flights! Take up to C$20◊ off with Promo Code LM20. Book Now!

All I know, is my hair is crunchy and my skin is parched.

Woe is me…. *gracefully leans back with one arm to the forehead 

*Please take a minute to visit our sponsors! They help keep us going! =P
**If you enjoy our content, you can help keep www.ritaslanina.com going directly by donating over at Patreon! Thank you so much everybody who supports us!!
humor, self-help, Uncategorized

Stabilizer Dysfunction

OMG.

Normally, I like to use Final Cut Pro for all my video editing software needs; however, pexels-photo-756914since I don’t have it downloaded on my laptop, I’ve succumbed to a less-holier-than-thou software.

iMovie. Ugh.

I know. Kill me.

Now, as far as most functions go in iMovie, it’s slightly par. I can cut, filter, pinch, and add titles when needed with ease. It’s performance is decent. So, what’s the issue?

STABILIZER.

I HATE YOU IMOVIE STABILIZER. YOU SUCK.

It is literally the least performing function of the whole lot.

10% off with coupon code SMARTSUN10 - shop Smarthome.com now!

Why didn’t I just use my desktop and FCP? Well, because I’m a moron. Sounds about right. I needed to travel and therefore decided, eh, iMovie will execute effectively. Okay, not so moronic in theory. It’s not completely dysfunctional. In hindsight reality though… *rolling eyes

As long as you don’t “accidentally” hit the stabilizing function of a frame. Oops. Or two frames. Oops squared. Yup. I “accidentally” hit that stupid ass button, NOT ONCE; but freaking twice. Priceless. After about three days of waiting for it to stop stabilizing so I can bounce out the next post, I decided to investigate. And my super sleuthing didn’t go well as I had hoped.

pexels-photo-951229.jpeg“Oh, stabilizer in iMovie takes foreeeeeever.” said one user.

“Avoid stabilizer in iMovie completely! It can take days or weeks to finish.” says another.

“iMovie’s stabilizer function will finish eventually. So, if you have a deadline, utilize YouTube’s stabilizer instead. iMovie will force you to scramble to hit your aforementioned deadline. It’s terrible!!!!”

Checkmate. Shit. 

Why would a company offer a function that well…. doesn’t function! Insanity?

Well, I am an Apple user. That explains it.

pexels-photo-302561.jpegAnyone who does video editing may know what I am talking about and if you don’t have any clue about what I’m stressing over, don’t worry. Grab a snack cake instead! Don’t try to figure it out. Enjoy your snack cake! Believe me.

I have tried everything except throw my computer out a window. Which was a great idea until I stood at the windowsill and had a secondary thought that I may need my laptop for other things. Like a snack cake holder?

So, no video episodes until I can sort this mess out.

But first, a slushy and taquitos.                         

Blue Raspberry Diva – OUT!

 

*Thank you to our Sponsors: SmartHome and Amazon! Visit our partners per their links today to save!!