Exercise, humor, self-help, Uncategorized

Diet Dumb Down

cat-74134.jpegOnce in a while, I peruse online videos –like cat videos – no -and wonder about learning something new. About a new diet phenom. Sometimes I do learn about a new weight loss challenge. Do cats go on diets? Quiet, you. Most times I don’t learn anything. Darn it.  Most of it is just nonsense because the reality is that we all know to eat our veggies and just get off our butts and workout. Sing it, sister! That’s it. And, forget about the cat being on a diet. You don’t need an uprising. Anyway… I had realized at the beginning of this year, I had gained a little weight and was NOT happy about it.

Wah! I want to hold a cat now!  You can’t… you’re allergic. 

So, I started getting back on track. Yay! I was working out and eating right but it just wasn’t bringing the weight down to my desired goal. What goal was that? Stealing the neighbor’s feline, and hitting a treadmill? Maybe. And then I found intermittent fasting. And a cat with a headband who was ready to rock. Which was great to stumble upon; (IF, not the exercise kitty) but not so great to watch and read millions of content that was literally making me dizzy with confusion and annoyance.

Like this, *ah *ah *achoooooo, cat allergy… here, hold this fluffy thing for me so I can explain without going into anaphylactic shock.pexels-photo-384555

While I care about facts and results, I care much more deeply on acquiring this information quickly, with ease and bullet pointed. I don’t want pages and pages of crap, garbling up my existence.

Garbles of crap. Existence being garbled…  standby.

Now, this isn’t to say I don’t enjoy a good romance novel here -which are some times long, with garbles of pages to read (unlike my romance novella series, which is great, you should read it. Just saying… )

Shameless plug much? Hush. Go find a meow-meow or something. Focus.

But I most definitely don’t want my “how-to do somethings” and “hey, what’s new that I want to learns” thwarted into my pea-brain all willy nilly. Most of the time, out of everything we read and watch, we can bet that less than 20% of what was just shoved down your throat was the heart… of the three hours you wasted on whatever the heck it was you were trying to learn. Case in point. History Channel. Spends an hour going in and out of commercials, repeating the same things over and over… and you learn only a few things at the beginning, once in the middle and the main thing at the end you were waiting for… or became disappointed by.

Was that your version of a statistical fact? Um, yeah, I guess so. Oh, geez… 

Well, yeah, I could’ve walked my giraffe in her tutu that she’s been bugging me to wear!

That being said. After weeks and months of researching and clouding my monkey brain with information on the subject, I decided to simplify it. No one else should have to work as hard as I did to find out what they want to know! I know, I was sent from heaven. An angel of sorts. Here the soft sounds of music above my halo?

I just feel we are in the age of over-information, over-stimulation, and the “I’m over-everything-ation.” Could just be you, darling. Yes, that could be correct. Wouldn’t be the first time. Nope. images

Too much! Circling back, here’s my simplified version, sans a Frito-eating purring puffball,  on the subject of IF. Or intermittent fasting – for those who aren’t up on the diet fad’s lingo.

Oh, and I left my wings and harp at home, sorry guys!


contests and giveaways, Uncategorized

Oh Happy Day! Oh Happy Giveaway!

healthy-person-woman-sport.jpgHuge thank you to everyone who entered The Harbor Excursions Giveaway! We are announcing the winners on youtube.com today! Woop! The winners have also been notified via email with instructions on how to receive their free signed copies of the book. Thank you again to all who entered! We know you will truly enjoy the book!

Again… No, mother… you aren’t allowed to win. Silly girl. You’re relations to me exclude you from winning! Wah. But I do appreciate the love and support. Muah! Thank you, love nugget!

Last thought: What if alligators wore pants?




The Super Villain Outreach Program

After posting  my (mock) super villain photo last week (on Instagram). I got to thinking over the weekend. That, I too, could be a pretty decent super villain. Criminy. Yep! And here it goes…  The Suicide Squad that Warner Bros. has thrown together definitely needs me and I know what I’m talking about because I watched the sneak peek Suicide Squad trailer (recently shown at #comiccon2015). Here I am, always the do-good, call you out on your bullshit type, and all along I could’ve been wrecking havoc, trying to take over the city. This is happening. Ok, so now I need a cool villain name/persona/identity thing.

picture this: #suicidesquad #vixen #definitely Photo: www.NobleAmbiencePhotography.com

Hmmm… so, what should I do first?!  Throw a speeding train full of passengers off it’s tracks? No, it’s bene done. Save twinkies everywhere from extinction! Hello, they came out of extinction and Hostess is making them again. There was some scuttlebutt and now they’re back. Dammit. Zingers too? Yes, Zingers too. Let all the animals out of the zoo, releasing them from their captivity? Wait. That’s not so evil. Public mischief, maybe; but definitely not evil. And in reality, I’m kind of saving them from their untimely “caged” deaths from lethargy and glutton anyway. That’s from a Dreamworks movie. I’m really doing the animals a favor. Still from an animated film, which they escaped all on their own and ran all over New York City. Right. Good point. Plus, I’d be getting a rap sheet for being a public nuisance in the process. From a kid’s flick?  Sigh. Maybe I need to rethink this. I might not be a good super villain after all. It’s the thinking that’s the problem. Ooo! I know I can be Vixen! Shit. Still thinking. New angle!  I’m totally Vixen. No you’re not. The Suicide Squad character who joins the squad, only after she kills a druglord (accidentally) and needs to learn to control her powers. You have NO powers. Duh, special effects team, hellooo…. Oh, yeah, I’m totally her. Oh geez.  She’s definitely a character that has good intentions but is in a position where the public she was helping -with the government- thinks she’s evil.

She’s the accidental villain! I’m accidental in so many ways! Exhibit A: the thinking hullabaloo. I’d even cut my hair for it. Accidental Hair-Cutting Villain! Has a nice ring to it. Not really. The Vigilante Hair-Cut! *smacks forehead  All I know is that somewhere, out there in the universe, there is a need for my villainy. You’re not villain. Somehwere in this city, my CGI super powers are needed… to do… something. Nope. Like, pogo stick down the subway, helping poor defenseless rocks from — Stop it. Not needed.  On second thought, thinking is what got me into this malarky in the first place…