healthy and beauty, house and home, humor, self-help, Uncategorized

Special Delivery! Or not…

What is it with two-day Prime delivery now available, that when we actually do have to wait a bit longer for something we are impatiently throwing stones at our mailboxes.

You don’t do that? Hm-mm… Just me then.

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I’m always about keeping money in my pocket as opposed to spending it. I have not always been that way; but as I get older, I get pinching those pennies to a whole new level.

I constantly find new ways to DIY it which almost ALWAYS saves me a fraction of what I’m paying someone else to do and more often than not, upon figuring it out myself, I tend to do a better job of it and no one is the wiser.

don’t mean to brag; but…

Unless you brag about it.

Yeah, I do that.

Anyway, I ordered some really cute spring nail polish (gel) in January.

It’s March.

Exactly, and it’s still not freaking here.

It would be one thing if I ordered it off the Wish App. Girls, you feel me on that one?

shop til you drop, baby!

If you’re not familiar, the Wish app is a shopping app where you buy direct from overseas – for waaaaayyyyy cheaper than we can buy in the states. While this is a pretty cool app and from time to time I have had to delete the damn thing to control my impulse shopping; I have generally not had any issues with it.

Friends, family and the like that I have passed along this sweet app to have not always had the same experience as I have had. The clothes don’t fit right, the packages never arrived, customer service never responded to me, etc. You get the idea. Yeah, don’t download the app? No. That’s not what I’m saying, pay attention.

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I, on the other hand, have had good experiences with the clothes (they run two times smaller than American sizes), most of my packages arrived safe and sound (and even earlier than expected), and when there was a customer service issue, they responded quickly and in some cases returned my money for a damaged item, or non-received item, etc.

delivery status update, please.

Great experiences! Like you said. Right.

Now, I tell you the background story on the Wish App because if I was waiting for over two months for an item, it is to be expected. My expectations are in line with how the Wish App works.

Well, I ordered nail polish (gel) from the Wish App, and it NEVER arrived. Customer service was great, they refunded my moula and so I decided to buy from Amazon. I LOVE Amazon. By the way. LOVE!! Plus, I figured it’d get to me within a reasonable amount of time. Compared to… you know, never.

So when I ordered a set of cute trendy spring colors gel nail polish, I didn’t anticipate waiting longer than a week, maybe even two! IWhich is why I chose to order from our beloved Prime account in the first place. I wasn’t going to leave it to chance. Heaven forbid I get a letter from customs thinking I’m trying to smuggle in contraband beauty products!

I’ve been waiting for months. Literally.

Let Me Break It Down…

tik-tok… just a waitin’ fool

JAN 30TH: I’m waiting, so I swipe a nude/glitter polish on my nails and I lay in loathing.

JAN 31ST: I hate this color.

FEB 13TH: Still waiting…. I pop off my nails a few weeks. Do some outdoorsy hiking crap, get dirty. No worry on the nails even though they look like all holy hell and my girlfriends frown when they see I’ve still NOT re-polished and primed.

FEB 20TH: Still waning. I mean, waiting. No… waning. I’m definitely waning, or maybe it’s whining.

FEB 21ST: Either way, I’m still waiting. And now nail biting.

Simpli-Home.com

MAR 7TH: Focus on my 2-a-day’s at the gym, catch up on some reading, cleaning and organizing my space.

MAR 14TH: Decide to give my short, natural nails a swipe of white polish. I feel cute, trendy and rockin’. For about a day. Re-organizing my space. Again.

Put it here. Move that there…. la-di-dah

MAR 25TH: St. Paddy’s Day has come and gone. Still waiting. Peeled off that white-off, paper mate, look which was no longer working for me. Decide to check the delivery tracking. APRIL 9TH?!! Delivery expected by April – freaking – 9th!

APR 2ND: Stares out the window, looking for the stork to bring newborn nail polish colors to my doorstep. Wonders if they had to make the formulas from scratch upon receiving my order. And also, why didn’t I notice the delivery expectation date when ordering?

So, as of this post, it still has not arrived. And, since the delivery expected date said the ninth, it’s likely I won’t see these little bottles of nail beauty for another week.

MORAL OF THE STORY

CHECK THE DELIVERY DATE WHEN ORDERING.

*hence, read the fine print!

EVEN on AMAZON.

EVEN when it’s TWO. DAY. PRIME.

healthy and beauty, humor, self-help, Uncategorized

The Coffee Switch

It’s not for everybodyAs promised, my coffee rewind. Yay! pexels-photo-1251175.jpeg

My coffee obsession – annihilated. Boo.

My journey on that hashtag caffeine-free life. Hashtag don’t.

So, you are not going to believe this; but I have ACTUALLY switched to decaf.

What?

I know. Pigs have officially flown.

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It all started when I read somewhere that caffeine ages you, causes wrinkles and basically changes your body chemistry to some degree – causing health problems. Are you a doctor? No. But,  I’ve been an avid caffeine consumer for pretty much my entire adult life. As I imagine, I’m not alone in this. You might be. Cases of Red Bull. It gave me wings! Multiple cups of coffee in the morning. So much I should’ve bought stock in it. Afternoon. Oh, and night. Stock up sales on Monster energy drinks. Added them to my cocktails even. Google it. There are plenty of articles on the subject. Hypochondriac. Maybe!

pexels-photo-1161928.jpegThe odd dynamic? I don’t even drink soda. I’ve never even liked soda; yet, I was drinking all these energy drinks which were just a chemically, hyped up version of… soda.

Flashback to my 2018 New Year’s Resolutions… I added “quit drinking energy drinks” to that list. Epic fail? It took almost a year to do it. No freaking way. Approximately… a year to the day. Totally flabberghasted. I began weening myself off at first, with only drinking one can per day, then serendipitously found an organic version made by the Rockstar brand. Saw you peddling that slurp on IG. Right. If you follow me on social media, you’ll remember my plugging those on my stories, literally on a daily basis, and no.. they were not one of my sponsors. I actually love those damn things.

Don’t cringe.

They didn’t have that bad an aftertaste.                           

Focus. The point is, they were replacing my daily bad habit with a “healthier” alternative? Um, not really. Well, this one still amped me up with green coffee beans and cane sugar. Still sounds like a bad habit. Right. Anyway, after the adjustment of the pounds of sugar added to the original ones dissipated and… my palate eventually adjusted.  Quite tasty! *rolls eyes. Sure. 

You don’t realize how much sugar and caffeine these food and beverage companies cleverly put in our products! They don’t HAVE to include every drop of what they put into their goods on those little nutrition labels. They only have to accommodate the minimal requirement and/or maximums of the FDA. (For those of you not up to speed on your government acronyms, thats our Food & Drug Administration.)

Don’t worry, hopping off the soap box now to pin the rant for another time.

*plop, tosses tirade into the bushes

Takeya USA

Fast forward to current day. I crossed that “no energy drinks” off the list for good. Yay! So, since I conquered my fatal attraction to energy drinks, I swapped them with Kevita Kombucha drinks. I know.

Hasthtag: New Year, New Me.

Hashtag sick of hearing that too.

Anyway, It’s not for everybody and really, you can get those probiotics from a daily vitamin and that may be a better angle that’s worth investigating; but, for now, I’m loving those little – largely-overpriced – drinks. Sucker. Yup!

And let’s not forget that regardless, I’ve replaced a bad habit with a good one! And that’s really what its all about anyway, right?

Yeah. But there’s no caffeine.

Back to the coffee, no coffee situation. Being a “lifer” with the coffee intake, it was also time to relinquish my grip on that morning crutch as well. So, I switched to decaf. Oy vey, did I have a tough couple of days thereafter. But, as with the other kicked bad habit by way of heart-palpitating energy drinks, I acclimated, and have been fine.

PICTURE IT NOW: Face down in the driveway, whispering for anyone to put a cup o’ joe in that mug that I keep shakily raising as feet walk by.

The newest thing I read about was also that drinking coffee before 10am contributes to the mid-day slump! ( <~~ I’ve added a link to such an article – check it out.) And since we all know and loathe that midday slump. I decided to test that too. I moved my mug of amazing to after my workout, around 9-10 AM. And you know what? No, midday slump!

Playing devil’s advocate, I switched it back to the first thing I do after waking up…. narcoleptic by noon.

So the moral of the story is… pushing caffeine out of my life has been a lot easier than I thought it would be. It was slow, and steady. And guess what?

You’re still drinking coffee?

Yes. But only decaf. But the way I see it…

I won the race!

Woop! Woop!

– LET’S RECAP – Removing caffeine takes time. So relax and just do it on your own timeline. Here’s what worked for me! (FYI/it took me a year)

PHASE ONE:

  1. First, remove multiple energy drinks per day down to only one energy drink daily.
  2. When you’re ready, switch out your daily energy drink to an all natural version.
  3. Finally, replace all natural energy drinks with probiotic drinks.

PHASE TWO:

  1. If you are drinking multiple cups of coffee each day, the first thing we need to do is stop that. Drink only one cup per day. Be aware that you will get groggy without those extra cups; but be strong! It will subside.
  2. When you are ready, usually after a couple weeks, or months, switch that one daily cup to decaf. This is the hardest part. IMO. You will feel sluggish for a couple days but it will pass.
  3. Finally, Reach for a large glass of room temperature water. Add lemon, if you like. Do this before your cup of coffee. This new habit of reaching for the water will eventually replace that decaf cup of coffee.
Move along…

So, for now, I’m enjoying that decaf-life with a dash of longing for no wrinkles, and natural energy. The dependency on caffeine is rampant. And at least there are chocolate covered coffee beans within reach. Just kidding. But ignore the immense amount of images in the coffee-porn folder on my desktop!

fashion, healthy and beauty, How To, humor, self-help, Uncategorized

Knockout Nail Rehab

This week I thought it was time for a DIY.  Oh no. It’s been a while since we’ve done one pexels-photo-1367219.jpeghere and this one is a fun one! Yay! For the girls, anyway! And maybe for the guys too, who like to look at ladies’ with nicely manicured hands. And for the guys who don’t? Well… I guess I’m not talking to you and your exempt from this convo. No biggie.

Hopefully, it won’t be like the pumpkin seed fires of 2015, Or the alien abduction attempt of 2017. Oh, and this has zero to do with a zombie apocolypse; however fun that might be but as we females continue to do things to ourselves to keep a man’s attention… in some sense, it is a bit zombie-like. No? What the…?

Stay with me here.

nail polish

As long as I’m a hot and sexy zombie, with cute long nails, I’m cool with it. Let’s keep it real… I’m not going down the old lady train without a cat-fight.

*sigh, slaps foreheadpexels-photo-939834.jpeg

If you’re not a chickadee… maybe you’re a hubby, or a boyfriend, that’s cool… keep listening, this will save you money in the “keep my wife beautiful” fund!

Who doesn’t like more money in their pocket?!

Exactly!

pexels-photo-1819560.jpegMy budget includes a fat column for vanity. Shocker. I know. It’s a weakness. I love anything beauty, sexy, girly, hottie, cutie, sweet, adorbs, cheeky, glittery, sparkly – oh geez, we get the picture – Oh! okay, great! This isn’t to brag about money or anything like that, it’s literally that I have a budget and it includes a lot of girl crap. And in order to keep a handle on it, I’ve got a budget that tells me NO! when I’m getting close to going to far with said chick poo.

Your budget shouts at you?

Yup. Totally does. Now that I think about it…

We argue quite a bit actually.

Anyway, I generally get my nails done at the salon and the reality is I was spending close to two hundy’s a month! Hundys? That’s a hundred dollar bill y’all! – hunded, hunded, hunded dolla bills – sad attempt at a cool rapper voice. Yes. In my last album, I think I did some decent raps in a couple of songs; but it’s likely other rappers may not agree. Since I don’t claim to be a rapper on any type of front, whatsoever.

Nobody cares –  back to the nails, please.

Okay, okay. Not a rap fan? Fine.

So, circling back, it was about a two month set of tests, with trial and error, for this DIY.

A nail scientist? Totally! Oh criminy.

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I love going to the salon – lies– yes, true… I actually detest going to the salon. Its crowded, its like a puppy mill for for women, who get sucked in and churned out in 90 minute intervals for the gorgeous factor, and I am NOT a fan of sitting there footsie in the water getting to prune-scale all in the name of that #hotstufflife. Even when they double you up as you get a mani-pedi simultaneously, its just horrifically tedious.

Are you done complaining? No. I got more.

I can’t play on my phone I can read -literally – one page of a book because after I’ve gotten into my page they have confiscated all my limbs to get the beautifying job done. Leaving me without any means to turn the page to read the next chapter. Fail.

pedicure-massage-therapist-spa-161737.jpeg

And ladies, you know no one else is happy to be there either. There’s sort of this weird vibe where the other broads are irritated and/or annoyed or something to be there. And as much as we try to ignore it, misery loves company.

No fun.

When I go to the salon, I want to feel uplifted and gorgeous; not depleted and dragging.

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Dare I mention the hectic drive to get to said beauty torture routine? You dare. Seriously, the extra drive time, the A.D.D. that happens when I see a drive through coffee shop, or shopping mall… it has done me in on many an occasion, btw. It usually turns up a search party for the disappearing Rita. I can’t help it. I LOVE shopping. I don’t do it too often these days but send me out for a nail rehab, and your sure to find me avoiding it. I’d almost rather go to the dentist.

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Moral of the story?

You like going to the dentist?

No. It’s that doing my own nails was much easier than I thought it would be…

And, men…. you gotta appreciate the hell we put ourselves through to be beautiful for you.

Oh and one last tip. Even if you have trouble painting one hand, you can always paint the nail tips ahead of time before applying.

Enjoy the DIY fellow beauty zombies!

***And if you need product, click the affiliate links and buy what you need with today’s sponsor: 

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