Exercise, How To, humor, self-help

Middle Split Siracha

I am pretty much becoming a fitness freak again. Oh no. Oh yes!IMG_8610.jpg

After a long hiatus from intense working out; It’s time to get crazy with it once more. Except on the week where mother nature wants to show up. Please stop. I don’t feel really well during that Pre-emergence situation, so F-that. Way too much information though, seriously.

So when Aunt Flow comes a callin’, I like to take it easy and get my yoga on. Namaste!

Self-Employed? Get 50% off a new Intuit Quickbooks Self-Employed Account! Use this referral link to find out more! 

And most definitely an amazing stretch! Bend it like a pretzel, people! I was a highly competitive gymnast growing up (Olympic-bound) and that has set me up for flexibility success in life, it has also allowed me to know my body enough that I  know when it isn’t being stretched enough. Something about keeping a fit lifestyle puts that body-awareness on high alert!

healthy-person-woman-sport.jpgNow, I know, I know, not everyone is aspiring to get their splits mastered. Nor were they high level gymnasts. Right. But, for the few that want to attain those middle splits, I’ve created a video for you! If you don’t put in the work, time and effort… you will NEVER get your middle splits. Or any splits for that matter. With anything, you gotta make the time for it. Giraffe wrangling? Put the work in. Tippy-toe dipping? And, set some goals to help you stay motivated to achieve those goals. Even, if it’s just getting your middle splits down pat! Punny.

Additionally, here’s the thing, as adults age we tend to become less and less mobile. If we allow ourselves. No more sitting for  longer periods of time. No more using the “I’m too old for that” adages to get out of doing any physical activity. It’s a bummer!

Beachbody CIZE Dance Workout Base Kit – Shaun T

And people start this rhetoric in their late 20s! And they’ve already got one foot in the proverbial Twinkie grave in their 30s!!! It’s absurd. 

But, I like to test the limits. Challenge my body. Challenge my mind. When my kid waspexels-photo-690598.jpeg play school age, you’d catch me out on the playground with the kids swinging around on the monkey bars and throwing a ball around and hopping on and off curbs for that matter as well!! As soon as we stop playing, our bodies start aging at an accelerated rate. Add a dash of peer pressure and social atmosphere of friends who complain of ailments and don’t want to get off a couch… and you have a recipe for couch potato-ing with your snacks and beer for forty plus years.

How about… no thanks!

Unshakeable: Your Financial Freedom Playbook

So, get off the couch, and get some flexibility going… it’ll get the blood moving, the brain moving and most of all; it’ll help keep ya young!

Yes, exercise and flexibility help stave off the aging process.

Oh yeah, and so does hot sauce. Pass the siracha!

Who’da thunk it!

 

*Please take a minute to visit our sponsors! They help keep us going and have great products or services! =P
**If you enjoy our content, you can help keep www.ritaslanina.com going directly by donating over at Patreon! Thank you so much everybody who supports us!!
healthy and beauty, house and home, humor, self-help, Uncategorized

Hard Water Woes

Hard water. Yuck!women-modeling-style-skin.jpg

Most people – especially, from the city – have  never even heard of this…

but, it is totally a thing. Really?

…And it dries out your skin, and turns your hair into a crack whore masterpiece. “Uh, paging Dr. PimpStreet. Paging Dr. PimpStreet. We’ve got a situation…”

Mega Sale – Shop 40% Off

It doesn’t happen immediately, although, it does it within a few days. I thought I’d attack my crispy hair problem with moisturizing shampoos and conditioners that were too damaging to my hair before; but, now, may perfectly moisturize accordingly. It helped? A little. In a more, it’s got a sheen that is clearly matted down like a wet mop, kind of way. Whoa not good.

Baiji Bottle Collapsible Silicone Water Bottles – Sports Camping Canteen 20 Oz. – Easy To Clean And Store

As I’m over-moisturizing my skin aggressively too, I’ve learned – through google (rolling eyes that this is my only go-to) – that only masks the problems and makes the dry skin worse. Uh.. what? Dampness equating to MORE withered husk. Wonderful. 

Come on, flakey skin!pexels-photo-260405.jpeg

Does that make any sense to anyone…

Alternatively, I tried another “remedy” to my pipe cleaner strands from hell. Oils. Rubbing the scalp with argan, coconut, and even caster oils is supposed to assist.

Um… Nope. Just sopping oils dripping from my scalp. *frustrated sigh

Depending on the source, hard water is not a health hazard and then it can be a health hazard. Ummm… so is it? Or isn’t it?                                                                                                  

get a filter!! click to buy at amazon!!


One will never know unless they test the arsenic level in the hard water. Yup, you read correctly… Arsenic level. Interesting stuff, no?

Ugh. Great, now my water is trying to kill me out here in the sticks. Dramatic much?

Depends on who you ask…

Desert Oasis take over – Free Gold Mini Angled Kabuki w/ Purchase (7/10 & 7/11)

“While some studies suggest a correlation between hard water and lower cardiovascular disease mortality, other studies do not suggest a correlation. The National Research Council states that results at this time are inconclusive and recommends that further studies should be conducted.” (source: water-research.net)

PSA Announcement, Ladies and Gents..pink-hair-selfie-bun.jpg

Awesome.

Cardiovascular disease mortality.

Gotta love the perks of this hard water thing. Or not thing.

Cheap Last Minute Flights! Take up to C$20◊ off with Promo Code LM20. Book Now!

All I know, is my hair is crunchy and my skin is parched.

Woe is me…. *gracefully leans back with one arm to the forehead 

*Please take a minute to visit our sponsors! They help keep us going! =P
**If you enjoy our content, you can help keep www.ritaslanina.com going directly by donating over at Patreon! Thank you so much everybody who supports us!!
Exercise, house and home, How To, humor, self-help

Centipede Defense Team

HeatAndCool.com

First, the vinegaroon. Now a centipede.

This time… In our bed.

You want to sit around. Watch a movie with your family. Maybe eat some popcorn. But,  a centipede is intruding via hair follicles.

*____________________ insert screams of horror here*

The centipede was literally hanging onto a mane of hair. How it even got there. No one knows. (Quite possibly from our brief need of oxygen escape from dad’s barking tarantula?) Nevertheless, it creepily crawled off and roamed on over to my hunny bunny’s hand and began nibbling. He jumps up. Followed by the rest of us hopping up. Screaming. In horror.

“Something bit me!” pexels-photo-1000529

What? No way!

It’s a centipede. Oh God.

Stunned, with everyone posted up on the back of couches, benches and ottomans, there’s a panic. Where’d it go?  (more horrified screaming)

Aren’t they poisonous? No.

Is it going to kill you? Not likely.

Heating & Air Conditioning Units for $120 Off + Free US Shipping! Shop HeatAndCool’s Super Sale Now!

Either way, I’m not sleeping in this bed until the centipede defense team comes and kills that bastard.

pexels-photo-459719.jpegShake out all the pillows. Check.

Nothing.

Sheets and blankets. Check.

Still nothing.

Under the bed?

Nothing.

At least, nothing at first glance anyway…

After trolling around with a flashlight in tow, there’s no sight of this little f***er and we’re all starting to worry even more because, there’ll definitely be no sleeping with that creepy crawly moseying around all willy nilly.

Check toward the headboard.

It scuttled across the floor… into my slipper.

SMACK.

No dice. Upon being whacked with a can of Hot Shot bug spray – that was clearly not being used properly and additionally using the lid of the ToGo cup to try to guide it… uh… anywhere – it was flung back under the bed.

More screaming.

I drop to my stomach by the foot of the bed, with the flashlight and am scoping hard for this vermin. And there he was. Climbing alongside the inside of the bed frame. Gosh, that IMG_8398thing moved so grossly.

Find a stick. Fling him off again.

We could lose it forever. Let’s think more clearly.

We grabbed a straw from a to-go cup. Good choice!

Oh geez. 

Well, we didn’t have a stick anyway. So it’s kicked off with the straw and crawling around for dear life. He crawls back toward the darker corners of the bed, near the headboard. Lost him again.

Big Anniversary Sale! Up to 25% OFF + Free Shipping

  • 1. 2. 3….. group effort. We pull the bed away from the wall.

Where the hell is it?

….searching.

…looking.

Sneaky little nuisance….

BAM. Got eyes on it.

Pull the bunk further. Check.

pexels-photo-260397.jpegNow, we got it. Hot Shot spray can device, stat.

Oh dear God, it’s still moving. With high intensity intention.

Time to use the Hot Shot can’s alternative use, and I bet you didn’t realize until today…

Is now a baton in which we came down on that bugger with the rim of the can’s bottom.

Oh my goodness. It’s still moving. And now there’s two separated parts of it moving. In opposite directions. Do these things multiply and clone? Freaking out!

Seriously. Why won’t this thing die.

We then proceed to use the bug spray for it’s intended use and drizzle the poison at the centipede. Well, both moving centipedes now, until it – I mean, they – seem to slow its pace. We grab our handy dandy insect transporter – the aforementioned ToGo Cup – and scoop that thing into it. Finally.

omahasteaks.com

Success.

For whatever reason, and I’m not a centipede/bug expert, this thing keeps moving inside our insect transporter for another hour or so.

One of the kids says, “hey, let’s feed it to the Vinegaroon! These are the kind of bugs they eat.”

Um, well, the centipede is now soaked in a deadly chemical. I like where you’re going with this… but, let’s scratch that thought.

Maybe not the best idea to feed the arachnid scorpion eater with a toxic centipede.

Moral of the story? Theres a moral? Not likely. Anyway, the bugs here are out of control but there no match for my band of super heroes….

4 FREE Burgers & 4 FREE Franks, Plus Half Price Shipping on Orders of $59 or More

The Centipede Defense Team. *cue introductory super heros music

Oooo! And I think we should make some shirts… or, Oh! Oh! Matching uniforms out of lycra and spandex! You know…

Like The Incredibles!

*slaps forehead

Wow.