gardening gnome newbie spring summer series returns rita slanina
house and home, How To, humor, self-help

Gnome Gardening Newbie Returns

The gnome gardening newbie returns to the scene of the garden for yet another go! THE GARDENING GNOME NEWBIE DITL DECLUTTER REFRESH

GARDENING GNOME NEWBIE DITL DECLUTTER REFRESH

We’re back for another season of the SPRING SUMMER SERIES FOR 2022! Okay, I’m not a gnome, but I sure as heck feel like one as I roll around in the soil, plucking, planting, kicking up my heels in the dirt! It’s declutter, refresh time and It’s my second year to plan the dirt kicking, plant the seeds and somehow I don’t feel like I’m getting much better at this squash sitting thing. I digress. Let’s DITL!

BRUNO

Bruno the puppy has more gnome-like qualities though as he goobers mischief as soon as my back is turned! So, with high humidity, soon-to-be lazy days ahead this fine Summer, and loads of videos and television watching in my future, I thought it was time to hit ya with the first installment of how my garden started this year, how I prepped and planned it!  So… let’s…..

GET SEEDS & GET GROWING!

A FEW LESSONS LEARNED IN R2

Ah… the monsoons are back, and the garden is a’growin’!

  • ITS NEVER TOO LATE! If you haven’t gotten your seeds for your garden and aren’t getting it growing; you are NOT missing out! But, don’t continue to sleep on it, y’all! There is still plenty of time to get outside and throw down some seeds! I was binging some vids the past couple days on what seeds to put out in your garden in July for you slackers that will produce a harvest that you can still rave about to your friends as though your a gardening savant!

CORN, RADISHES, BEETS, BEANS, CAULIFLOWER, SQUASH

  • FIND YOUR ZONE! I find it’s best to check the farmer’s almanac to find out what ZONE you are in first to make sure but the veggies mentioned above should fare well regardless. I’m in zone 8a, which means, I get humid heat & snow in the winter. But I also average a 200 day growing season… what luck!! Woo! However, what works in fall/winter does NOT necessarily work in spring/summer. But it’s fun to just try and see how it goes. That’s literally half the fun of gardening.
  • DON’T TAKE GARDENING TOO SERIOUSLY! It WILL drive you nuts. Just enjoy the journey. For real. Some plants will make it and some won’t. That was probably my biggest hurdle last year. I was so frustrated but this year, I realized, it’s a learning process and until you toss down the seeds and see what happens… just for the fun of seeing what happens… that’s when you will get it.
  • BUY SEEDS FROM YOUR LOCAL FARMGIRL, HOMESTEADER, FARMER’S MARKET. Another lesson I learned from last year is that all the seeds bought commercially are pretty much one size fits all. They come from the same place, no matter where you have bought them. While – in theory – this sounds fantastic, it’s not always practical in application. Sure, you’ll harvest something but when I started buying from the farm girl in my town who literally has been doing this her whole life, my gardening took off! For roses, I did buy from Jacksons & Perkins, and they have fared quite well. My grapevines from Gurney’s, were a 50/50, one made it/one didn’t. I purchased some seeds from Lowe’s online and some are doing great and others were buttkiss.

The upswing in homesteading, growing one’s own food, or learning how to just rock a great herb container in the windowsill has skyrocketed in all our homes. A lot of peeps are now thinking – Holy Poo! – what if this no-grocery store thing – goes down again? How will we eat? An economic collapse bc of a tyrannical government is feeling less conspiracy and more probable these days! How do we handle it if something this cray cray goes down?

*uh oh.. impending tangent ahead?

No lol ..but my interest in this topic is deep.

Circling back… *wink

oh thank goodness.

Early Fall Season Deals! Save up to $30◊ off our Fees on Flights Use Coupon EFALL30.

PLAN. PLANT. DECLUTTER. REFRESH.

broccoli leaves gardening rita slanina GARDENING GNOME NEWBIE DITL DECLUTTER REFRESH
Broccoli leaves are just as tasty & useful as the florets themselves!

This is my second year gardening and believe me, when I say, I used to believe I could keep a plant alive to save my life  and now I am harvesting my own greens for salads everyday… it’s awesome to know that anyone can learn to do this! ANYONE!

So… show us!

Geesh , so impatient. Check out the fun on my DITL on how I got organized this year, what I planted and my blunders! THE GARDENING GNOME NEWBIE DITL DECLUTTER REFRESH! Hopefully this full 20 minute video on Rumble will inspire you but if you’re short on time cruise down to the shortened version!

FULL 20 MINUTE VIDEO ON RUMBLE BELOW

OR CHECK OUT SHORT VIDEO ON YOUTUBE HERE:

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newbie beginnings gardening spring summer series rita slanina blog
humor

Newbie Beginnings in Gardening | Spring & Summer Series

daydreaming about vineyards

This year, I took on newbie beginnings in gardening. For the last installment of the Spring Summer Series of 2021 and as I look forward to the shady trees and changing fall leaves. I took beginning gardening. Ooooo, how about a sequel…

You know NOTHING about gardening.

That’s right, I sure as heck DO NOT know much about gardening AT ALL. However, the things I learned as a “know-nothing” gardener for the Spring and Summer Series will be valuable one for years to come!

Newbie beginnings in gardening is a journey and boy! is it labor-intensive! But, I will say, I have never enjoyed doing a hobby more than I did taking on this challenge. In fact, when I get settled into my new place, I am going to pick it up again! Maybe start a vineyard!

*slaps forehead* A vineyard…

I totally want a vineyard.

You and your ambitions.

I Know! Isn’t it amazing to have so much life to live!

Knock it off already.

Um… Nope! Couldn’t do it. And believe me… I have tried!

To be able to watch things grow from seeds to seedlings, to then small plants, and then towering buschels of zuchinni is immeasurable to my joy. If you have yet to start a gardening adventure out of fear, don’t. Don’t waste another minute. The rewards of harvesting your own food is so amazing.

Sure, there were learning curves. A lot of plants didn’t make it. I had a freaking critter problem I never fully exterminated. And, I sure as heck didn’t have the support system – like a paid grounds keeper – I would’ve liked either. But, all that being said, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

First things first… if you are afraid to start, or are overwhelmed with what and how to start let me give you a small to-do list. You know I love my lists!

“Mary, Mary, quite contrary… How does your garden grow?”

I mean, it literally is that simple.

Still not convinced? Enjoy the audio version of this post at Rita’s Dump: https://anchor.fm/ritaslanina/episodes/202-GARDEN-GOOSE-e164904

I challenge any of you to take up gardening, even if it’s on a balcony, or one potted plant on your windowsill. Start with anything small and see how you do.

And while your at it, take a look around at my newly published titles and scoop them up over at Amazon. Don’t forget to leave a positive review!

You’re only missing a green thumb if you neglect, or over-love your plants. And believe me, I am guilty of over-loving my plants… and I still grew stuff!

humor, relationships, Uncategorized

Cockamamie BooBoo

IMG_0078
See? Totally sweet and doe-eyed… *wink

I’m a good girlfriend. Sometimes I go needy and want that cuddle crap; but, even I know when to shut that shit down and go YOLO into my work and steer clear of “boys night out.” That’s right. You heard me. I said YOLO. Judge me all day. I can take it. I AM a good girlfriend… except for that one time he had to duck behind the serving counter to avoid a teapot to the head. It wasn’t a BIG teapot. Just regular sized. Hey, we all have our moments. And not all of those moments can be shiny and bright. Like stainless steel. Like that teapot.

Booboo’s friend was recently dumped-or he dumped her-I don’t know, it really doesn’t matter who dumped whom. This fellow is single again and I almost got a bed out of it. But I didn’t.  A king size bed. There’s no bed. Anna’s Linens, here I come! No BED. Dammit. I didn’t get the king size bed. No bed? *whining*  But I was already shopping for 2,000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets…WAH. But, since a man doesn’t always operate in hyper-mode like a female… Dude’s, Miss Ex-Thing, sold it off to some schmuck. Two eyelash battings before my partner-in-life got the, oh so imperative- “hey I’ll finally sleep in a bed” -text back to the guy. Time is of the essence. And essence was m.i.a. here. So, I’m still bed-less in Los Angeles. Somehow, this is building my character or something. This no bed thing. Couch surfing in my living room isn’t all bad. It’s an upgrade from the air mattress that’s for sure.

IMG_0079
IDK anything about any -damn- sunflower seeds

Circling back to Mi Vida Loca, so the dumped lad gets a bed AND my chap. So I’m out a mattress. And freaking sexy time. Maybe I should give said boyfriend/pillowtop thief my hints on gardening too…. I mean, while he’s taking all my will to live away. I’m kidding. I have a will to live. Stupid box spring. Hmmm… Great idea though. Pumpkin seeds? Right now, I don’t like you, dumped person. Maybe an avocado seed? I should give you gardening hints… mostly because I have the gardening ability of a bull in a china shop. Take THAT, sunflower seeds. You won’t make it past the dirt. And three cockamamie sunrises from today, I look forward to my sweetheart showing up with a shiny new cozy hammock gift, in my office-home-atorium.