Category: new years resolutions

4-hot-tips grab a blender i've got lemons rita slanina starting over create fresh start in life
Exercise, healthy and beauty, How To, humor, new years resolutions, relationships, self-help

Grab A Blender… I’ve got lemons!

Rita Slanina

Okay ya’ll! Grab your blenders… because I’ve lemons!

Er… Wrong Blenders, Love Bug

You know the saying, “When life hands you lemons… Add a spritzer!”

Okay, so no, that’s NOT how it goes… but if you stumble upon some champagne, let’s have a party! *wink

So, I was trying to figure out how to write this post. Starting over suddenly, without warning because you HAD no other options totally stinks. But, I have mulled over the details just way too much. And as much as I want to “spill the beans” on my traumatic event which got me here, I’m not even really over it enough to do so.

Ergo, in pure “Rita” fashion… I decided, to keep it light and funny. As you all know… it’s what I always do! Suppress that ish! And work through the hard shit!

Man up!

Head up!

Chin up!

Shoulders back!

Smile!

Because sometimes, life hands you lemons. So… you are forced to figure out how to create a fresh start in life. Again. You don’t see it coming. Or maybe you did. It’s like you’re watching a nightmare unfold before your eyes. And this time, it’s not Halloween. And you’re not watching a horror film. You’re living it. Or you suddenly you just needed a change. The world has gotten so freaking weird and now Florida sounds like a wonderful place to just touch ground.

So you got the lemons crapped all over you. No biggie. Make the damn lemonade!

Just kidding. I don’t know why I chose to curse!

But, not really. C’est la vie! 

I had finally found peace and solace in the mountains. Finding joy in the mundane was my motto for that chapter of my life and it was fabulous. 

I wish I could’ve kept that life forever. Enjoy the rest of my days following a simple; but amazing plan in retirement with the love of my life. But… as luck would have it, I got freakin’ screwed. Sure, I dodged some lemons for a while. But eventually, the whole tree just dumped on me. Alas, mon ami…. no boohooing. At least, not yet!

But it’s time to highlight why picking myself up off the floor – after imprinting myself on it for a while – is good news for you! *It doesn’t sound exactly like good news.

Right. Well, stick with me.

So…Why, is it good news, you ask? 

Because… eventually, I was able to at least get up off the floor. You know, after the numbness subsided, and the bedsores healed. Just kidding about the bedsores. But, not the numbness. Granted, tears were just NOT stopping but hey… you take what you can get in this game called Life CAN Suck. 

So, how do you push forward?

*Oh no.

Yup!

*No…

YUPPERS!

*Not the lists.

Yes! Yes! YES! I’ve got LISTS! Wahoo!!

If you prefer the more watching me work the list; as opposed to reading it check out this week’s video below.

Just a simple note: I DO NOT have it all figured out. But, I believe we never have it ALL FIGURED OUT. (I think I wrote a song with the same title – Ha! – add it to your playlists!)

– that which I swear by –

In the essense of humor, I do believe grabbing a blender when you have lemons is the best analogy to make smiles & hopefully inspire those who are also having entire life adjustments. Regardless, of your current situation, however dire or bleak, give these 4 Hot Tips a try. You never know what could happen!

You might invent a new margaRITA! *wink

See what I did there…

Yes, we all saw it. *slaps forehead

Exercise, healthy and beauty, How To, humor, new years resolutions, self-help

Morning Routine: Phase One

Rita Slanina

A.K.A.

      PHASE: PLEASE SHOOT ME.

Okay, okay, let’s get to it.  If you have ever tried to implement a new routine for yourself then you totally understand todays post. Now that winter is in full swing, the “new year, new me” hashtag in underway… it’s time for me to get back on that pony express and ride into the sunrise. Huh? I don’t know. But, what I do know is that getting into a new, or in this case, old routine that I had running before summer vacation is not an easy task. Blah.

pexels-photo-1037993.jpegI have begun by setting my alarm (AGAIN) for 4:40 AM months ago. Holy – too early – batman! I know, it’s early but it works. I don’t know why 4:40 is my time to wake but; it just is, and what’s even weirder is I usually get up before my alarm, rising to the the tune of 4:39. 4:17. Or even 3:53. It’s not natural. It’s weird. Totally. I get it, but like I said, it works for me. Cuckoo.

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After I’ve set my alarm for this – godforsaken – time, I have set a series of alarms to keep my morning in check. Now, it’s a work in progress as I have been at this for a few months now since last summer’s end. It’s so easy to get sidetracked in the morning… if you allow it. You totally allow it. I totally do.

Photo Jan 14, 3 36 56 AM.jpgAs free-spirited as I appear to be, I am actually extremely regimented and right down to the incremental minutes of my day. You’d think this would make me cranky if I don’t make a certain task or follow my alarm schedule but really I’m so much more cheerful, helpful and have more inner peace… Like, maybe that’s when my free-spirit-ness kicks in? Hmmm…. Even if I only accomplish one task, I’m cool with it. Like waking up? Yes. Like waking up. Routine is good, people.

Scheduled creativity? Yup. It’s a thing!

This morning; however, or rather the past few days, I have been rather sluggish. Non-motivated. I guess it happen to everyone. Let’s give a quick run down on my mishaps this week to put it in perspective.  Let’s start with the 2-a-day’s at the gym. I’ve totally upped my game on every aspect of my life and I’m feeling the lag. I hopped on the treadmill this morning and fell off. Hold on. What?

Takeya USA

Yup! Just, whoop…. slide. Kerplunk! Right off the back of that moving death machine. I’m IMG_0618.jpg
not even sure how that happens. No one else does either. Regardless. My body must’ve been signaled from the brain that day… not today sloth. Not today.

I attempted to read my third book (Yay!) of the year and it was moving the words around on the page. Boo. Not kidding. It was messing with me. It even hid itself from me. How does a book play hide and seek? Good question! When you find out the answer, tell my lost book, it’s time to give it up and show itself.

My back-to-basics boring food hauls. Well, those are just boring. Not much to report on plain rice and egg whites. Fermented probiotic drinks. Protein bars. Vegetables. Boring. Boring. And more boring. But food is fuel… blah, blah, blah. I know.

nail polish

Sitting at my desk to get work done? That kink in my neck creeps up again…. *shakes head, don’t get me started 

Photo Jan 14, 3 31 45 AM.jpgAnyway, I think you get the idea and then, boom! The morning routine I so meticulously orchestrated has fallen to the wayside. I’m now finding myself saying, my body needs to recoup-hit the snooze button. I’ll push my appointments a couple hours-it’ll be fine. Gosh, where are my favorite high heels I like to wear? I donated them? Why the hell did I do that-I loved those things. *remembers aggressive decluttering mission of November 2018

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Damn it.

You’re rambling and way off track. I know.

Just like phase one of that morning routine.

Exercise, fashion, healthy and beauty, humor, new years resolutions, self-help

Pleather Sausage Pants

Rita Slanina

You ever own a pair of pants? Yespexels-photo-461646.jpeg

That you freaking LOVE?! Yes.

Only to find that said pants you are loving…

Don’t love you back? OMG YES.

Well, this is my black pleather pants I bought last year. Wait. They are gorgeous. Hold on. They are high waisted. Pleather? Oh! Yes, they are plastic leather. Huh? Meaning, they look like some kind of leather; but they aren’t.

Ah! Got it… Carry on.

Anyway, they are skinny style in the leg. And therein lay the problem. My legs aren’t playing nice with the damn stretchy plastic. Oooo, nasty visual there. Right!  My thighs fight them when they’re pulled up. My hips are pushing them off. The waistband has this massive extra space that I could smuggle a large book in between the fabric where my stomach should be. My inner squish is slapping together when I walk, causing an annoying squeaking sound. They’re not even patent leather! How the hell are they squeaking?!

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You see, last year, when I got them, they fit amazingly.  So much so, that I wanted to wear those damn pants  every day! You so would. I totally would.  But let’s face it, you can’t wear leather pants to church, or to the gym, or an animal park. An animal park? Well, maybe I could. And maybe you’d look like a solid, tasty lunch for a predator. Okay. Not the zoo then. While, my weight has toggled a bit this last six-eight months, my physical appearance hasn’t been too gnarly.

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SIDEBAR: this has also been a point of contention for me too. So much so, I had to add a weight loss goal to my annual goal setting resolutions this new year. So sad about that.

Ish, happens. *shrugs

pexels-photo-1040532.jpegMoving on, I’ve also washed these pleggings a couple times and I’m wondering if the shape of the pants themselves had been altered due to that. *fingers crossed, please. Please. Please. Please.

Damn those household chores all to hell. Especially you, laundry. Boo to you. Boo!

And so it begins… the tale of the plastic leather, pleather pleggings. Here’s the plan. I am going to try them on again in February. Oh no, not another plan. Lord help us all if these bastards don’t fit. I’ve been hitting the gym 6 days a week, living on dry toast and rice, and drinking enough water for a buffalo herd.

Which is about the size I’m feeling about now. So it’s fitting!

No, it’s not fitting. The mock-trousers aren’t fitting at all. That’s the problem!

You’ll show them.

No britches are going to beat me. That’s right. *nods in affirmation

Go get ’em, sausage girl!

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