Exercise, humor, self-help, Uncategorized

Diet Dumb Down

cat-74134.jpegOnce in a while, I peruse online videos –like cat videos – no -and wonder about learning something new. About a new diet phenom. Sometimes I do learn about a new weight loss challenge. Do cats go on diets? Quiet, you. Most times I don’t learn anything. Darn it.  Most of it is just nonsense because the reality is that we all know to eat our veggies and just get off our butts and workout. Sing it, sister! That’s it. And, forget about the cat being on a diet. You don’t need an uprising. Anyway… I had realized at the beginning of this year, I had gained a little weight and was NOT happy about it.

Wah! I want to hold a cat now!  You can’t… you’re allergic. 

So, I started getting back on track. Yay! I was working out and eating right but it just wasn’t bringing the weight down to my desired goal. What goal was that? Stealing the neighbor’s feline, and hitting a treadmill? Maybe. And then I found intermittent fasting. And a cat with a headband who was ready to rock. Which was great to stumble upon; (IF, not the exercise kitty) but not so great to watch and read millions of content that was literally making me dizzy with confusion and annoyance.

Like this, *ah *ah *achoooooo, cat allergy… here, hold this fluffy thing for me so I can explain without going into anaphylactic shock.pexels-photo-384555

While I care about facts and results, I care much more deeply on acquiring this information quickly, with ease and bullet pointed. I don’t want pages and pages of crap, garbling up my existence.

Garbles of crap. Existence being garbled…  standby.

Now, this isn’t to say I don’t enjoy a good romance novel here -which are some times long, with garbles of pages to read (unlike my romance novella series, which is great, you should read it. Just saying… )

Shameless plug much? Hush. Go find a meow-meow or something. Focus.

But I most definitely don’t want my “how-to do somethings” and “hey, what’s new that I want to learns” thwarted into my pea-brain all willy nilly. Most of the time, out of everything we read and watch, we can bet that less than 20% of what was just shoved down your throat was the heart… of the three hours you wasted on whatever the heck it was you were trying to learn. Case in point. History Channel. Spends an hour going in and out of commercials, repeating the same things over and over… and you learn only a few things at the beginning, once in the middle and the main thing at the end you were waiting for… or became disappointed by.

Was that your version of a statistical fact? Um, yeah, I guess so. Oh, geez… 

Well, yeah, I could’ve walked my giraffe in her tutu that she’s been bugging me to wear!

That being said. After weeks and months of researching and clouding my monkey brain with information on the subject, I decided to simplify it. No one else should have to work as hard as I did to find out what they want to know! I know, I was sent from heaven. An angel of sorts. Here the soft sounds of music above my halo?

I just feel we are in the age of over-information, over-stimulation, and the “I’m over-everything-ation.” Could just be you, darling. Yes, that could be correct. Wouldn’t be the first time. Nope. images

Too much! Circling back, here’s my simplified version, sans a Frito-eating purring puffball,  on the subject of IF. Or intermittent fasting – for those who aren’t up on the diet fad’s lingo.

Oh, and I left my wings and harp at home, sorry guys!

Enjoy!

Exercise, humor, self-help

The Backbend Challenge

There’s something to be said about a person that can become a human pretzel. Ooo! Sourdough! Cheese-filled! No. No real pretzels up for grabs here. Wah. Although, I could for some of those right about now. Does sound pretty delicious. pretzels-fritters-baked-goods-food-162996.jpeg

While I can’t contort myself into a small shippable box, I am fairly flexible and this skill has literally served me no real purpose in my day to day normal life.  As an adult. All those hours in the competitive sector of gymnastics and what do I have to show for it? Peanut butter pretzels?! Pretty much nothing… except a love of salted snack foods while sitting in the splits in front of the television. Yeah, that’s normal.

IMG_1957.JPGThe reality is that aside from nailing a commercial gig for being able to catch a battery one-handed, or securing that spot in a t.v. show because I could do a front arial, gymnastics hasn’t really been super beneficial in life as an adult.

Until now… Wait. You’re an adult? Hush. Not really, shhh, that grownup thing is for the birds. Don’t tell anyone, it’ll be our secret. I mean, I can meander into a schoolyard and get mistaken for a teenager. Why would you meander into a schoolyard to begin with? I was making a point. Yeah, a creepy point. I’m not meandering into a schoolyard. Focus! Geesh! I was challenged to do The Backbend Challenge. And I successfully… sucked at it! Couldn’t have been that bad. Hold on: One would think that holding a backbend for 3 whole minutes, however short a span of time that would be, wouldn’t be too terribly horrific. But, by minute numero uno, I could already feel the burn! Or the blood rushing to my head. Like my head was going to pop off and take a journey around the sidewalk. Oh yeah, fun times.

Regardless, I have taken the challenge. Survived it, barely.  How did I do? That depends on if you lost any body parts, ma’am. My head is still in tact, no popping off and rolling around the floor. Yikes. You get the point.

Well, you’ll have to check out the video for the results! And grab some pretzels!

 

Exercise, humor, sleep

Elephants & Mobsters

Photo Aug 14, 5 38 21 AMI’m an insomniac-lifer. Tick-Tock. My brain doesn’t shut down. Ever. Especially when I am drained from –most likely– self inflicted dramas that have unfolded or –also likely– self inflicted professional deadlines breathing down my neck or I start to have weird ass dreams. Which often happen …and seem quite real. And like movies. And not the Hallmark kind… Like this one time I dreamt a Korean drug lord kingpin was mistaken that I knew who he and his gang were looking for. I didn’t. But he cut my fingers off anyway. Yeah, I fought back, because in my dream state, I’m a total bad ass and can take out mobsters.

Right.

The thing is when I feel that way, the not sleeping well thing,  it’s because I am 100% out of balance! No shit, Sherlock. Writing, sleep, filming, sleep, auditioning, sleep, family, sleep, friends, sleep. Juggling all these things all the time and something will surely fall into the deficit.  For me, it can easily be the SLEEP part.

I love my sleep! I wish I could do it all day. And I’ve been smoking on that pipe dream Photo Aug 14, 7 15 43 AMsince I was 6 years old. I don’t really smoke anything by the way. The reality is, I have so many “important things” to do who has time for such a tall tale known as sleep. Pipe dreams, that’s who. If I’m sleeping, what am I accomplishing that I need to be awake for to accomplish..

Rita Does Bedtime Yoga

The reality is, we need our sleep. Without our personal minimum requirement we just can’t function. If I work fifteen-22 hour days, I’m exhausted. Like an elephant dragging itself through Central Park. Eventually, you’re just not going to get any where and the bottom will fall out. Or your elephant belly just won’t budge across that Bermuda grass. And you gotta watch out for that grass of Bermuda, it’ll get ya.

Rituals. Regimes. Daily practices. Sound like malarky? Yeah, I thought so too. But seriously, once I started an evening routine even my slumber became more productive.

Approximately half an hour before bedtime to be exact. I know, who has more minutes in the day to add yet another “thing to do” in their day. Especially at the end of it. Make the time. The drug lord in my dream made the time to find little ol’ me, you can easily make the time for little ol’ you. Some TLC, if you will. And still keep your fingers.

I like to wash and change my sheets every couple days. Sound excessive. It’s not.

Photo Aug 04, 12 04 12 PM

 

 

Think about it… the idea of dead skin coming off the body and sweating at night or even if a bedbug decides to attack, I’d like to think I lessen the quantifying belief that my bed is a breeding zone of death. Or rather even a random place for a developing rash to appear for which no one can explain to me how it freakin got there.

MY NIGHTTIME RITUAL

  • 30 min before: wash face, shower, brush/floss, etc. (ok, fine you got me on this one)
  • 20 min before: bedtime yoga (ugh, a workout?) not exactly. Check it out!
  • 10 min before: plop on my eye mask/earplugs, plug in my ph/place upside down (no light for me thank you)
  • lay back take a few deep breaths, continue my tension release practices from yoga (ok, hippie)
  • drift off to sleep =) nite! nite!

Give my nighttime yoga routine a try, see if it helps! It didn’t stop my crazy dreams but at least now I’m sleeping much more soundly and through the night than I did prior to adding this evening discipline.

And you know what?

No gangsters. No elephants. And certainly, no bermuda grass.