Leave it to, two single mother’s-on Father’s Day-to get lost in a neighborhood while trying to make a waterfall appear. Oooo look, a yard sale… Are those tote bags only a dollar? I’ll take them all, thanks! Oh, that’s right, we were lost… “Back in the car, you crazy broads!” shouted my sister’s, and my kids. To their mothers. And this was just the beginning of our “special day.” And how was everyone else’s daddy’s day weekend? I like to look at getting lost as more of an adventure… A new place for discovery, as opposed to the “where the hell are we?”
Carrying on. So, we finally get to the hiking spot, some $4.75 and 10 tote bags later, and find our waterfall. It’s tall and it’s beautiful. Ok, it’s tall-ish. And it’s got prissy dog owners all around the edges of it… Wait. What? With their judgement and ankle-biter dogs tied to the staircase we took -to get down to- this dope little spot. Are they trying to not get dirty? Sure looks like it. In a place where there’s dirt? Um, yep. I will never understand certain types of “L.A. people.” I feel like I’m watching the E40 “Choices” music video unfold with this couple and their cats. I mean, chiuahuas. Why is that man tippie-toeing around squishy, wet marsh? Hello! It’s a waterfall, erm, area-type place… there. There IS water. Weirdos. Who goes to a NATURE hike and tries to AVOID the, fucking NATURE?! Um, they did, Sherlock. Anyway, not us! We go jumping into the watery fun… Well, I define, jumping off the high rocks, loosely. More like, watched OTHERS jump off the rocks into the water. While I sat around and got sunburned. Owie. It’s not like I didn’t want to jump off the rocks. I did. But, eh, I didn’t. In my best E40 voice… Everybody’s got choices. I stick to the rocks, I’m stuck to this bread. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ok, those aren’t the words, but you get it.
Moral of the story? Don’t go chasing waterfalls. What? No really, don’t. While not all of us are lucky enough to be in loving and lasting marital situations; We are 1000% lucky that we are moms and that we are amazing to have our privledge to be moms. Even on Father’s Day when we just want to curse the bastard who couldn’t take responsibility. Stay focused. We had a great time and so did our kids. And dogs. The big one especially. I think he was part duck. I’m sure the pupster would live there if he could. The dog, that is. Not the kid. Well, maybe the kid too. For children who haven’t had the luxury of a man to stick around for them? I’d say-at least our little buckaroos- well… they are turning out to be quite alright. Not all kids from broken homes need to end up on the Maury Show. “You are NOT the father!” Ah, music to my ears. And hopefully, mine won’t either. Is that show still on? Regardless, here’s a huge -albeit belated- Happy Father’s Day to all the single mommies out there! Now, get to Target and buy yourself some cozy slippers dammit! And a good wine to indulge in. The kind of wine that has a convenient spout, and is housed in a large box…
Before I could open a yawn to the day, my adorable child brought me coffee and amaretti’s in bed. Even the boy knows that without coffee, I am a miserable old cow. But, that wasn’t the end of it, he also made poached eggs and ham. I was in heaven. This is usually me on the other end of the kitchen delivery and this morning I was awakened to a blessed breakfast with a perfectly cooked egg, I might add. I knew this little munchkin could cook. Ok, maybe he’s not a little one anymore -the monster is pushing 6’1- but regardless, the monkey has been pretending to not know how to cook! I bit my tongue. Normally, my sarcasm and bratty tone would have commenced but I was determined to enjoy all this pampery. Please clean up. Please clean up. Please clean up.