humor

Mad Writer-Scientist Giggler

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Buuwa.Ha.Ha. My cree-ation IS neearly… Fiiinished. (you’re supposed to have a Trannsylvanian accent here)

 

As you may be able to tell, I’ve been reworking my website. Grrr. And reworking my website. Argh. And… reworking my damn website. Keep a lookout for flying frying pans. I’ve moved my nearly two years of blog posts from blogger to WordPress and revamping my marketing strategies; all while in the rewrite phase of my novel’s first draft. My bedroom looks like a file cabinet spontaneously combusted and what WAS an air hockey table, is now a makeshift storyboard confuktory. Sorry kids, no flying pucks while writing is in progress. I lied. Duck! All that’s missing in this lab, is the volatile liquids and witch’s cauldron.But, add a dash of this mad writer-scientist gone SEO MAD, and KAPLOWIE! We have a high functioning website, a finished novel ready for the masses, and I’m on a plane to Fiji. OKAY… well, maybe not quite yet. And A Fuji apple is about as close as I’m going to get to that island getaway. Sigh.

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…Or is it?

As I may be presumptuous in assuming you are about a Tilt-A-Whirl sick of hearing about my “never-ending novel” story, as I am leaning over a trash can, vomiting, trying to finishing this mother f***er. The highs and lows of my moods have been wonderful during this time. Midlife much? And I use the term “wonderful,” loosely. And more distinctively so, sarcastically. Having always chosen the path voted to be “Most Unstable,” I’ve fared pretty decently from it. Again, loosely defined. I’ve endured tea pots of rage and been at the bottom of a bottle of mineral water, in tears under the blankets of my sofa. Which I’m still making payments. On the sofa, not the mineral water. But, the mineral water import could be as bad as a smoking addiction at this point. Living on the edge with those credit cards still, I see… yeah, well, I live for the danger. #hidetheresacreditoratthedoor Hello? Hi, oh no, you have the wrong customer, my payment is in the mail. Have a beautiful day though.

*Insert mad writer-scientist grin here*

…And mischevious giggle.

 

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happy mother's day, mother's day, mother's day blogs

Mother’s Day Edition

Happy Mother’s Day, mommies! A thankless job comes to a head this Sunday morning to test all our little boogers on their merciless “thank you” skills. A day for us moms to bask in the laziness of the day and reap the rewards of motherhood. All in one day. What rewards? Do I get a trophy? That would be awesome; But highly doubtful. Wah. I like trophies. But who knows… I’m willing to take the little wins in life. Spread the gratitude for our mother’s hard work, laying out our futures. Although, why my mother keeps insisting I was adopted, is a bit suspicious. I knew I was really a Hilton. Or at least that would explain my insatiable love for designer shoes and handbags.

IMG_9446Before I could open a yawn to the day, my adorable child brought me coffee and amaretti’s in bed. Even the boy knows that without coffee, I am a miserable old cow. But, that wasn’t the end of it, he also made poached eggs and ham. I was in heaven. This is usually me on the other end of the kitchen delivery and this morning I was awakened to a blessed breakfast with a perfectly cooked egg, I might add. I knew this little munchkin could cook. Ok, maybe he’s not a little one anymore -the monster is pushing 6’1- but regardless, the monkey has been pretending to not know how to cook! I bit my tongue. Normally, my sarcasm and bratty tone would have commenced but I was determined to enjoy all this pampery. Please clean up. Please clean up. Please clean up.

IMG_9448I can’t believe it. Pinch me. He cleaned up too. No, seriously, pinch me. He put away the clean dishes from the dishwasher, took out the trash, and even tidied up the messery he made cooking said yum yums. I don’t know if I am in a dream or if I am being punked; But, I do know, it’s probably best not to question the appreciation I’m being shown today. Just revel in it. Enjoy the love spewing from the young buck. Fine, I’ll pinch myself. Hmmm… it’s not a dream. *insert cheesy grin here. I’m really a blessed mommy and my baby is turning out to be a fine young man. I hope all you mommies out there are having a beautiful day today. Take time to breathe it all in and enjoy it. Because tomorrow, we are on our own again, clucking to the underappreciated grind.  Bok! Bok!