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Lot Lizard Momma

I feel I needed to expand upon the hilarity that is my mother’s truck stoppery.pexels-photo-981588

Last night, mom called me while she was still driving across country.

She’s on her world tour.

Anyway, she was having trouble trying to find a rest stop.

Yeah, she was still using that shitty GPS Machine Lady. And for all intents and purposes, her relationship with that location unit is the equivalent to my hate/hate relationship with Siri. Maybe hate is too strong a word. Loathing? No, leave it at hate. Hate is good.

We have an understanding. Let’s just leave it at that.                    

Back to mom.

Along the way, she stopped at a rest stop for gas, some food, let her dogs out to do their                doggy duty. Where she was hit on by a burly man…accompanied by a wife and kids in a rusty wagon. Not sure what that was about. But, I couldn’t stop giggling. So wrong. I know. Totally wrong. But you can imagine the plethora of questions that pop up in that situation! And the laughter. Way too much laughter.  I told mom just to quickly hop back into her truck because I don’t need to watch the ID channel to discover the mangled, murdered woman depicted in the show – after she visits a dark and scary place -matches her description.

One more stop for the night.  A truck stop for gas/food, more dog duty… and a lonely trucker mistook her for a truck stop prostitute. She hustled back to her car faster, waving and hollering, “Not your lot lizard here, dude!!” Aw, mom, he just wanted some affection. 

Again, I couldn’t contain my laughter.

healthy-person-woman-sport.jpgMoral of the story? Theres a moral here? No booty shorts when traveling abroad. What? Make sure you’re wearing some sturdy running shoes.

Oh! And grab a can of police-grade mace.

You just never know.

 

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