baking, humor, self-help

Gluten Free. Kind of… Not Really


When was the last time you baked something? I’m drawing a blank.

This morning? A pop tart.

Last night? Quesadilla.

Over the weekend? Papa John’s made my pizza. And it made it to my home.

You remember good ol’ mom’s cupcakes? I think I was 8 years old.

Anyway, I had a hankering to bake. Oh no. I had old bananas and hopefully enough ingredients to put those ripening bananas to good use. This may not end well…

Oh no. Remember the last time you did the-

Hold your horses. I don’t plan on recreating the Pumpkin Seed Incident. Well, I don’t intend on it… but things can happen and we’ll just keep our fingers crossed over here.  Or maybe you should just hit the local Starbucks and bite down on a cake pop… 

Stop it. But yeah, maybe I should.

I found a recipe online for One Bowl Gluten Free Banana Bread. Wow, that’s a mouthful. Hmm, do I have these Gluten-Free items? What the heck makes a food gluten free anyway? Turns out, it’s the flour you use… Maybe. I think. Actually I still don’t know and I still feel a little confused about it. A lot confused, certainly.

Circling back: So, since I didn’t quite have enough almond flour-the gluten free part- I did equal amounts almond flour and white flour. White flour is not the gluten free part. Which I guess makes my One Bowl Gluten Free Banana Bread a Semi-Not Really- Gluten Free Banana Bread… And semi-not really yummy, most likely.

But I have faith. There’s the problem. Focus.

pexels-photo-227432.jpegI’m usually a healthy eater. Lies. No! Totally true! Here’s some recipes -of the au natural 10 MUST TRY Banana Bread Recipes cleverly design to prove it!-  I tend to stick to the basics and the natural stuff like fruits and vegetables. Yuck. I don’t eat a ton of sweets, might be fibbing on that one; throw a bag of Swedish Fish in front of me and I’ll inhale them like a vacuum. Go ahead, try it! But for the most part, my diet is quite predictable and extremely BORING. I knew it. Blah. 

Ask me what my diet entails and I will sound like a broken record. Squash. Zucchini. Salads using only dense greens like kale, baby greens, and spinach topped with flaxseed oil. Potatoes. Hard boiled eggs and Egg whites. Protein shakes. Anything fried up is done so using organic coconut oil. I practice intermittent fasting (what?!) and I wear a waist trainer (a who?!) on a daily basis. Tell me more about those things. Upcoming vlog/blogs on those soon. Good, my life wouldn’t have mattered otherwise. Oh geez. Anyway…        Hey, I’m aging just like the rest of the human race. I gotta stay on top of this killer body I treat like a temple. Did you just say “killer body?” 

That’s right. I said it. Killer attitude, killer body people. Keep it confident. *wink

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