Exercise, humor, self-help

Corset Crapshoot

Always ready to try something new, I stumbled upon waist training. Oh here we go, not another fad. (For the youngsters, that’s another word for trending). 

These things happen when you’re bored, surfing the net, or grazing youtube…

New trend? Yep. Why not try it? Exactly what I thought.

I mean, the Kardashians are doing it too… Ugh, you could’ve left that part out. Not that they’re awful or anything. But the last thing I want to do is follow the Kardashian brood . Sort of got that ‘train wreck in a bottle’ thing going on. I’ll pass. Be honest. I’m good. No, seriously… Ok, confession, I follow Kourtney on Instagram. And Khloe…. annnd, Kendall.

Long story longer,  I definitely gave it a go and I gotta say… I am in love with it! Not the Kardashians. Waist training! How can you be in love with something that suffocates you? I don’t get it. I know. But I’m still here aren’t I? Stand by. I’ll explain. This oughta be good… 

I lost two inches in the first month (without touching a donut) and have continued to slowly lose more inches the longer I’ve stuck to the practice of this 2017 waist cinching phenomenon. No kidding?

Contrary to the title of this post, the waist trainer is not like the corsets of period -films fullsizeoutput_504past! Once before, women would have to have someone helping them to secure them in tightly into these under-garments. A foot. A shoe. A banister. Yanking and tugging to hard on the laces that the eyeholes of the garment would clash together, almost lining up with the others. The women would have to grip tightly to the banisters of their staircases or their bedposts. As a result, they would go faint or dizzy, and would get sick from attempting to eat even the tiniest of morsels. Oh yeah, that sounds fantastic. I’m definitely convinced now.

Rita Tries Waist Training

I can eat. Hardly. I’m never faint. Hey, it only happened one time. I can even workout while wearing my trainer. Weird how I woke up in an ambulance that one time after I could’ve sworn I was on a treadmill…. The array of available breathable and stretch-worthy fabrics are almost endless! Did I see latex? You can slowly, at your own pace begin the process of getting that waist in shape. You know, wear it once, and indulge in the donut. I did. No I didn’t. I wear the damn thing every day. It can be done by yourself. With a shoehorn. In fact, if you need help, you may have been a little overzealous in trying to aggressively attack that sweet little waist of yours in a size your not quite ready for; no judgement. It happened to me. Just order a size up. *shrugs


Gosh, so let me count the ways, why I think this really is a pretty great tool. All jokes aside; not likely.

  • My eyes aren’t bulging out of my head from lack of oxygen.
  • My organs aren’t being crushed.
  • I’m eating less. (while keeping my caloric intake where it should be)
  • I’m losing weight. (woohoo!)
  • My stomach is flat again. (I hear angels singing)
  • It’s invisible underneath my clothes (another win!)

In the end, enjoy a donut once in a while. It won’t kill ya…

…and maybe that undergarment that I’m isn’t trying to take me out after all.

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