DITL | Dog Wash + Cleaning Reset
#dogwash #floorcleaninghack #homereset 🐶🧼🧹
We gotta address this filthy animal situation, friends. The eggs are everywhere, the dog smells like a skunk wearing expired cologne, and honestly… I’m barely hanging on by a thread of sanity wrapped around a chicken feather. 🐔💀
Welcome to a new year and a fresh start—at least, that was the plan. Instead, I woke up to what can only be described as an episode of “Home Alone: Farm Edition.”
🏡🙃 There were chicken eggs in the bathtub. Bruno, my fur baby and current suspect, was rolling in what I prayed was mud. A mysterious odor wafted through the house, screaming, “You made life choices… and now you must live with them.”
🥚 Chicken Chaos: Egg Hunt Time!
First stop: the chicken coop. What started as a sweet, peaceful egg collection quickly turned into an episode of “Survivor: Backyard Edition.” These hens? SAVAGE. 😤 They hide their eggs like they’re prepping for the Chicken Hunger Games.
I was on my knees digging through straw. I crawled under nesting boxes. I dodged sassy pecks from Carlotta, the coop’s unofficial (but very real) dictator. 👑🐔
🐣 Chicken Egg Hunt Survival Checklist:
- Gloves (trust me, it gets gross)
- Bucket or egg basket
- Treats to bribe the chickens
- Flashlight (for those eggs buried like treasure)
- Old clothes (you will get pooped on)
Ever hunted eggs outside of Easter? It’s not for the faint of heart.
There’s video proof of me faceplanting into a hay pile. A chicken casually strutted across my back. It was like the chicken owned the runway. #ChickenLife #EggHunt #FarmFun 💃🐓
💨 Bruno’s Skunk Encounter: Bath Time!
Oh, Bruno. Sweet, goofy Bruno with the brain of a marshmallow.
You’d think after the first skunk incident he’d learn. But no. Not our Bruno. He found a skunk behind the garden shed and thought, “Oh hey, new friend!” Spoiler: it was not a friend. 🙅♀️💣
The stench? Like being slapped in the face with burning tires and regret. If you’ve ever had the privilege of washing skunk off a dog, you know it’s basically black-belt level pet parenting. Tomato juice? Lies.
Dish soap and baking soda? Meh.
I found a concoction that actually worked (shared in the video!) and it saved my nose, my carpet, and my will to live. 🙌🧴
🛁 How to De-Skunk Your Dog (Without Losing Your Mind):
- Mix: 1 qt 3% hydrogen peroxide, ¼ cup baking soda, and 1 tsp liquid dish soap.
- Wear gloves and work the mixture into your dog’s fur (avoid the eyes!).
- Let sit for 5 minutes. Do not panic if your dog gives you stink-eye.
- Rinse thoroughly.
- Follow up with regular dog shampoo and condition to soften that wild coat.
- Light a candle. Or three. 🚫🦨
Or… if you ain’t got time for all that?
Irish Spring.
Yup.
Cue the chaos: wet dog zoomies, me sliding on tile floors like an Olympic skater, and Bruno shaking off in slow motion like a shampoo commercial from hell.
🐕💦#SkunkSmell #DogCare #CleaningHacks
🧼 Cleaning Reset: From Chicken Dust to Clean Floors
With the skunk situation semi-defused, it was time to reset the house. You know that fantasy where everything’s clean and for five magical minutes, you feel like you’ve got your life together? That was the dream.
The reality? Feathers in the hallway, paw prints on the fridge, and hay in the couch cushions. (HOW?) 😩
Enter: my new robo vacuum. I named him Alfred (because of course I did) and honestly, he’s my new favorite family member. Watching Alfred clean while I sipped tea felt like the rich-lady fantasy I never knew I needed. ☕🤖 “Get that corner, Alfred! You missed a spot near the chicken poop!”
🧽 Quick Cleaning Reset Guide for Pet & Farm Life:
- Start with a quick tidy-up: toss out trash, fluff pillows, rescue socks from the wild.
- Run Alfred the robo vac (or your version of him) through high-traffic areas first.
- Wipe down high-contact surfaces: fridge handles, doorknobs, and counters.
- Mop spots where pets frequent (especially post-bath zoomies lanes).
- Light a fresh scent candle and reward yourself with a dance break. 💃
Because listen: if I’m not getting my floors cleaned by a robot butler while I’m marinating in a face mask, are we even doing adulthood right? 🧖♀️✨
🔧 DIY With Me: Shelving Success-ish
Next up on the chaos tour: build a shelving unit. The box said 30 minutes. The box lied. 😅 Three hours, four swear words, and one existential crisis later—I had a shelving unit. Is it straight? Close enough.
🔩 How to Conquer DIY Furniture Without Losing Your Cool:
- Lay out all the pieces and count the screws. (I know you won’t. But try.)
- Watch a video tutorial even if you think you’ve got this.
- Use a drill—not the sad little Allen wrench in the box.
- Take snack breaks when rage sets in.
- Accept imperfection. Call it rustic chic.
It now holds garden tools, extra chicken feed, and Bruno’s toy graveyard. Did I accidentally install one shelf upside down? Yes. Did I leave it that way because it adds character? Also yes. #DIYWithMe 🪚🔩
And naturally, the chickens walked by like judgmental neighbors with HOA complaints. 🐓 “Is that level? We think not.”
🌿 Garden Glow-Up & Feathered Friends
No chore day is complete without a garden check-in. Pulling weeds while the chickens parade around like fluffy royalty is surprisingly therapeutic. They cluck, they gossip, they sass. I relate. 👩🌾🐣
The girls got a little spa day too—fresh dust bath sand, new perches, and garden snacks. They’re thriving. Honestly, they live better than me sometimes. I caught Henrietta sunbathing like she just closed a real estate deal in the Hamptons. ☀️👓
🌼 Backyard Chicken Spa Essentials:
- Fresh straw or pine shavings
- Dust bath mixture (sand + diatomaceous earth)
- Clean water bowls and a splash of apple cider vinegar
- Frozen veggie treats (yes, they’re spoiled)
- Mini mirrors for coop décor… you know, for chicken selfies 🪞🐔
Watching them has become my daily meditation. They’re tiny, feathered therapists with no degrees and a lot of attitude. And yes, I talk to them. Out loud. Frequently. It’s fine. I’m fine. Everything’s fine. 😅
🛁 Self-Care for the Soul (and Nose)
After a day of chasing eggs, bathing stink-dogs, and battling flat-pack furniture, I earned my self-care moment.
Long shower? Check.
Oversized robe? Double check.
Sheet mask that made me look like a haunted doll? You bet. 👻💆♀️
🧖♀️ Quick & Cozy Self-Care Routine for Farm-Weary Souls:
- Long steamy shower with eucalyptus oil 🛁
- Cozy robe + fuzzy socks combo
- Sheet mask + calming playlist
- Cup of herbal tea (bonus points for sipping dramatically)
- Sit. Breathe. Do nothing for 15 glorious minutes.
I lit my favorite candle, hit play on a lo-fi playlist, and just sat. That’s it. No cleaning. No chores. Just me, tea, and the soothing hum of Alfred the vacuum finishing the job like a real MVP. 🕯️📻
That was the reboot I didn’t know I needed. And honestly? Glorious.
💬 Final Thoughts: Embracing the Chaos (and the Chicken Feathers)
If you’re a pet parent or a backyard farmer, welcome!
If your living room sometimes smells like a barnyard rave, let’s trauma bond. 🐓💃🧻
Let’s face it: adulting with animals is challenging.
It’s like trying to Marie Kondo your life. Meanwhile, a dog tracks mud across the carpet, and a chicken lays an egg in your shoe.
Is it glamorous? Absolutely not.
Is it hilarious, heartwarming, and occasionally horrifying? You bet your last clean towel it is. 🧼🤣
Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual.
But if it did, the dog would probably chew it up.
Then, the hens would turn it into nesting material. 📜🐶🐤
So, here’s to us:
- The accidental farmers
- The skunk-odor survivors
- The DIY warriors who’ve used duct tape and hope to hold it all together 🙃🛠️
☕ Let’s clink mugs (virtually) to:
- Dinners interrupted by barking and feathers flying
- Floors that almost stayed clean for a full 12 minutes
- Pets who love us, even after bath time betrayal
- And a robo vacuum that’s now part of the family (Alfred deserves a tiny hat, and I will die on this hill) 🎩🤖
Real life isn’t filtered. It’s not always Instagram-pretty (unless you count chicken butts in soft morning light 📸✨).
But it’s full of belly laughs.
There are muddy hugs and unexpected joy.
This usually happens right after stepping on a squeaky toy barefoot at 6 AM. 😵🧸☀️
So embrace the mess. Laugh at the madness. And when all else fails, light a candle. Roll up your sleeves. Scrub the floors like a slightly feral Disney princess.
Thanks for tagging along on this wild ride of a day!
🛁🐾 Don’t forget to catch the videos for the real chaos.
Bruno’s dramatic bath moment alone deserves an Oscar.
At the very least, it merits a dog treat endorsement deal. 🐕🦴🎥
And remember to tell Butler Jeeves he’s doing amazing, sweetie. He may be a robot, but he has feelings… probably. ❤️💬
Until next time, stay cozy, stay chaotic, and stay you. 🐓💖🧼
#RealLifeUnfiltered #FarmhouseFails #PetParentingIsASport #SendHelpAndSnacks 😅🍕🛠️
PRODUCTS MENTIONED:
Robo-Butler Jeeves
(there are many variations/options for these vacuums to choose from at very reasonable price points now!)
Irish Spring Original
