humor, relationships, self-help

Soulmate Sucker Punch

Back to the single life, bishes!

Do I look back and wonder what he’s doing?divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483.jpeg

Meh. Not really

Plus, my gut instincts tell me that I already know… Glug. Glug. Snort.

So, let’s get authentic. Mount up! And address the breakup. Fuck that guy! It’s time to laugh and move on. Bye Felicia! And maybe help others who are going through the same thing. Perks!

Get lost, sucker!!

So…. “My man-fo-life picker was apparently…. still… “off.”

*Sigh… freakin’ dammit.

Why did I wait so long to address this?  Last three months in tears?  Well, yes that. But, no it’s simple. I wanted to make sure that chapter was closed for good.

I cried. Aw. I recovered. Yay. I made sense of it all. Super yay! And once I realized that true love was only one-sided and accepted the painful truth… I was now able to move on.

Zero tolerance for dunce-ry.

Doing the right thing is ALWAYS the right thing.

like, For example Don’t call my storage unit pretending to be me in an attempt to figure out where I have escaped you. Actually happened? Yup. Crazy much? Yes, totally. Yikes. Control issues. Ya think. I have a copy of that incoming call log and proof  such a wacky thing occurred. Wait. What? Yep, pay attention. I ALWAYS get the truth, handed to me, right in my lap. It’s the karma of doing the right thing.

Can you believe I still had “hope” that MAYBE he’d address his issues and REALLY was my soulmate? and that my leaving was a wakeup call for him?! It wasn’t. No, it wasn’t at all.

What a waste of my time, my energy and my love. I served him like a woman should, never said no and kept a clean house. Yup, no shame in getting on my hands and knees for more than a good time, here!

The truth? I am Everything a man can ever want or need from a woman. Plus, what


man would be opposed to a woman who loves to run around the house naked. And play games that involve two of you, running around the adobe, naked.

No shortage of confidence -or facts – here. 

Nope. None. Why? Because I KNOW what I bring to the table and I am cognizant of my actions in a relationship. Like, when I cleaned up the vomit messes and pretended all was fine when I’d exit the house? Oh I had to do that. No, I didn’t have to do anything to protect you; but I did… because I’m an awesome bitch!

The reality? There is NOTHING you can ever BE for a person, if that douche is self-destructing because they can’t handle anything good in their life successfully… I NEVER mention names here and the only moron dumb enough to out himself would be the moron dumb enough to… well? Out himself. Exactly. 

BUT! It is better to have loved and lost than to not love at all I say. In the end, dude’s behavior was so manic, and not in line with our unity, “our” goals, “our” vision…

And to me? Actions speak louder than words. For example: Saying, “I love you; but I’m  talking shit about you to others, staying drunk/high for 23 out of 24 hours a day, calling up an ex-mistress who was used prior to break up a marriage… OH! and on top of it all, lying to you about what I’m doing behind your back thinking your dumb enough not to see it?”

Schreeeeeech!! Um, NO.

In my opinion, your soulmate gets you. Truth. Stays connected with you. For real. Builds a life with you. Preach. And doesn’t constantly hurt you and your family. BOOM BISHES. And frankly, in the past,  I would have happily fought for that dysfunction to the death…

…with the wrong dope.

But now?

Helllll No!!

I seriously don’t have time to teach a d-bag how to be a good person. Say what you mean pexels-photo-288621.jpegand mean what you say. Oh yeah, and don’t be addicted to drugs and alcohol. Because now you’re dealing with a whole other animal and that animal just doesn’t care that it’s pissing on you every night, on your brand new mattress. I’m old school. I don’t like getting peed on in bed. On a nightly basis.

Just saying.

7 For All Mankind, a division of DG Premium Brands, LLCI deserve the best because I offer the best. Damn pissy! We grow up, we narrow our focus to what we want – and don’t want – in relationships and with ourselves. Grow old with you with in a healthy union? Oh gee golly! Didn’t think that was asking too much.

Sometimes, people just have problems and they won’t tell you them. Then those problems show up with a vengeance later when you least expect it!

Like a giraffe on roller skates, at a bowling alley.

I was heartbroken over that relationship; but I will get over it. *singing I’m a survivor, I’m not gon give up, I will survive, keep on surviving….

I believed at the time- without exaggeration – that schmuck was the love of my life. I am getting over it now, finally. Sucker punches are no fun. I was loyal, honest and faithful …even after I left him.


I’m a big believer of taking care of yourself – and your emotions – before venturing out and looking for new dick. I took the emotional abuse in that relationship like a grown ass woman, while attempted to talk, work it out, and even try reasoning with the dude -nothing worked, nor would it have when your dealing with a person – who has an addiction – and is making bad choices regularly -and when I reached my breaking point… I bounced.  Good for you, girl!


What a shame. That dude had so much potential for greatness too. Moral of the story… put up with NO abuse!!! It doesn’t have to be physical to be abusive. Tackling problems together is FAR DIFFERENT than carrying a 300lb gorilla out of a powdered, adderall-induced, coma bathtub because he almost drowned… again.

We all have weaknesses and mine just might be that I believe there is a Prince Charming out there who’s my soulmate and will find his way to me.

*humming, when you wish upon a star… pexels-photo-573298.jpeg

But, until I find that unicorn, I’ve got my tear-stained, tiara all shined up… and my glass slippers ready to go!

Oh, and for future reference…that list of pros and cons I will carry in my purse on every date, hence forth.

Lip gloss dabbed, deuces!

Leave a Reply