humor, relationships, self-help

Depo Sleepy No-No

images-1I’m used to not sleeping. It’s part of my genetic makeup or something… and I’ve learned to just accept it as a regular, co-existing nuisance. Except last night, I couldn’t just not get to freaking sleep. It’s the Depo.  I was literally awake for hours like a crack head. Has to be the Depo. Minus the wandering around the streets. Depo what? With a shopping cart. Full of God-awful, smelly items that truly serve no function. Can we get an explanation on the Depo thing? Who knows, maybe bums have found a way to reuse the one, lost shoe, missing its shoelaces. Whew. Mystery solved. Awesome, hobos. Kudos!

Ok… but this time, I want to play the dirty wench *wink

Geesh… Fine. Impatient fuckers. Explanation en route. So, I went to my gynecologist and opted to try the depo-shot. Ahhh… Great for my bedtime gymnastics Olympics, I’ve been so boldly carrying on about; Yet, terrible for my much needed sleep. That I’m not getting. Because of the “Game of Bones.” Or Crankiness that has crept up so suddenly… and subtly. Oh and magically, instead of my monthly visitor I’m getting onset nausea and dizziness. Which -by the way- is easily sent away from a romp in some hay. True stroy. I tried it. He dared me. I had to accept the challenge. Anyway, ALL side effects to this shit, is front and center. My body is trying to fight me and I’m saying NO. I will NOT concede DEPO! NO To your… succubus ways of mania. Find my sword, a
battle is to be won! I’m a pretty even keel mother fucker so it’s irritating to watch my mood swing from left to right. And try to keep it contained on top of it. So get ready Depo Shot for a sweet ass kicking! And if I don’t keep a grip on that shit early on? I’ll find myself back to the single life, dehydrating onion bread, all by my lonesome. Or so he has told me. Awareness is half the battle -right- and I’m a smart MF so best believe, I intend to figure it out, keep a lid on it, and let these side effects slide through as if they’re not happening. Until they are no longer happening. Take that evil birth control. If this stupid shot is anything like the pill I used to take, once my body adjusts to this crap; I’m kopastetic. And I’m hoping I’m on the right string of thoughts here because these couple of nights I’m up all night having conversations with myself I need to corroborate some kind of master plan to catch up on freaking sleep. Because… of all of bed sexnastics. Mentioning it again? Oh yeah. Because I’m exhausted. And I’m proud as to why. Wow.
IMG_0870Clock watching stinks when you can’t sleep. I’ve been up and down. Played a few piano tunes. Don’t worry, did it quietly. On my keyboard. Didn’t want to agitate any of my annoying sardine-packed neighbors who could care less about anyone else but themselves (#citylife) alas I still opted to keep the volume low. I did some writing. Rehearsed some lines for a thing I’m preparing for… Blah. Blah. Blah. Then the nausea and dizziness set back in. Ugh! Now, if you or anyone you know of has had this freakin shot, it’s either on the favorable side of really rave reviews or really terrible side of it, and of the NEVER do it, and of the you might DIE variety. Seriously, some people should have their keyboards taken from them. I did physically meet a gal -in person- though who had a great experience. She was conveniently seated nexted to me in the lobby though… Maybe the girl in my doctors office was a setup. Like a birth control spy! Strategically placed to encourage, confused and unsuspecting gyno-goers to get stuck by the depo! Well played medical system. Well played.
Or maybe my insomnia is just intensified by the birth control injection. Similarily, as my erotica conglomerate, can surely be a factor. Who the hell knows. But, I’ll take that. And the yumster man-machine who’s keeping up. Hooo-weeee! Alright, fine. Not sure if it is the depo-provera shot or not; But, as I’m watching the tick tock minutes click on by; it’s only swiftly, passed a mere three fucking more minutes, than the last time I checked the clock. God fucking bless it.