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I’m a girl that will strut heels on any surface. In any place.. and naturally, at any time.
Yet, without regard for natural land mass; i.e. dirt, hills, rocks and the like…
I have basically – and most accidentally – tried to kill thine self via high heeled wedge.
Uh, what?
Yup!
So, here I am taking a quiet summer in the country. Which has proved to be quite a challenge since it’s literally been eons since I’ve lived in anything remotely considered a “countryside.” Like, Ohio? Right.
And I’m wandering around in my cutest onesies and summer outfits and dawning quite a confident sashay until I roll my ankle and quickly recover from the meddling pebble that tried to annihilate me.
Steve Madden Women’s Feliz Dress Sandal, Natural, 9 M US
You think I’d learned my lesson. Fields abound. Dirt walkways. Cactus. Wait.. did you say Cactus?
Yes.
And Nope, this girl did not learn her lesson. Shocker. Hey, I’m a fan of the most scenic routes in life. And, yes, I seem to find them all… serendipitously!
The next day, I was helping to move things across hilly dirt that I proposed – wearing my cutest wedges – would be a breeze. It was only a couple of items so I wasn’t as worried a mishap would occur. At least, not two days in a row.
I was wrong. Not only did I encounter such a deja vu; but, I went head first toward a piny needled tree inappropriately named a sweet tree. Now, I don’t know if this is just ironically named by its owners or if its a real tree species. All I know is this thing tried to take a piece of me and keep it.
So, this city girl has to now acclimate to her new environment.
NARRATOR: Will she succumb to flip flop life?
Quiet.
NARRATOR: Is she going to have to swallow a tennis shoe pill on the daily?
Hush, you.
NARRATOR: Time can only tell; but, as long as a Ross Store is nearby, there’s a good chance that there’ll be some sneakers and flops could be ordained with glitter all over them.
Fine, narrator in the sky. You got me there.
In which case, I could scoop them up.
Who would’ve thought that moving to a wedge would still be a sore move. It’s that high heel thug life or death.
Anyway, let’s put ice on that list.
If I’m going to die by the heel, I’m going to need it.
2 thoughts on “The Wedge Incident”