I’m a girl that will strut heels on any surface. In any place.. and naturally, at any time.
Yet, without regard for natural land mass; i.e. dirt, hills, rocks and the like…
I have basically – and most accidentally – tried to kill thine self via high heeled wedge.
So, here I am taking a quiet summer in the country. Which has proved to be quite a challenge since it’s literally been eons since I’ve lived in anything remotely considered a “countryside.” Like, Ohio? Right.
And I’m wandering around in my cutest onesies and summer outfits and dawning quite a confident sashay until I roll my ankle and quickly recover from the meddling pebble that tried to annihilate me.
You think I’d learned my lesson. Fields abound. Dirt walkways. Cactus. Wait.. did you say Cactus?
And Nope, this girl did not learn her lesson. Shocker. Hey, I’m a fan of the most scenic routes in life. And, yes, I seem to find them all… serendipitously!
The next day, I was helping to move things across hilly dirt that I proposed – wearing my cutest wedges – would be a breeze. It was only a couple of items so I wasn’t as worried a mishap would occur. At least, not two days in a row.
I was wrong. Not only did I encounter such a deja vu; but, I went head first toward a piny needled tree inappropriately named a sweet tree. Now, I don’t know if this is just ironically named by its owners or if its a real tree species. All I know is this thing tried to take a piece of me and keep it.
So, this city girl has to now acclimate to her new environment.
NARRATOR: Will she succumb to flip flop life?
NARRATOR: Is she going to have to swallow a tennis shoe pill on the daily?
NARRATOR: Time can only tell; but, as long as a Ross Store is nearby, there’s a good chance that there’ll be some sneakers and flops could be ordained with glitter all over them.
Fine, narrator in the sky. You got me there.
In which case, I could scoop them up.
Who would’ve thought that moving to a wedge would still be a sore move. It’s that high heel thug life or death.
Anyway, let’s put ice on that list.
If I’m going to die by the heel, I’m going to need it.