humor, sleep

The UFO And My Ankles

This morning I was too afraid to get out of bed. Why? Because I am sure, at 4 am; the usual time I get up, there was a beam of light shining – and humming –  into my bedroom windows. Cue *Twilight Zone* music here…

Twice.

images-3Uh… okay… Hence, I was too afraid to hop up. Insane. Too scared to hop out of bed?! Yes! I’d rather take on an intruder in my home than some UFO. Yeah… getting beamed up towards the sky with a goat doesn’t sound that fun to me. Anyway, it was outside my window; not yours, and I lay in bed clinging to my sheets for dear life!

(I exclamation point, to exasperate the seriousness, of my point.)

And should it actually have been beings from another world to come take me away; I might as well let my significant other be the hero and let him get sucked up into that cargo ship. That would be the gentleman-ly thing to do. There’s not much meat on me anyway for them to carve up; so really, I’m doing a good thing here.

Seriously, stop watching the History Channel.

Wait, sidebar, why exactly are shows about aliens on the history channel? When people “see’ them and tell someone, no one believe the coocoo bird anyway. So, a historic event? Overkill. Maybe. Not really sure…. there WAS something outside my window, NOT, resembling a street lamp.

As I contemplate, it’s similar to when a police officer’s radar gun goes off when trying images-4to catch speed racers on a highway, aliens using these ray beams probably work the same way. No. Or disintegrate you. Likely.

Either way, as long as I’m the smaller object I’m hiding under the covers… not getting pulled up by a saucer with my ankles over my head…

…I’m soooo not getting abducted.

“Have a good a time up there, hun! Send a postcard!”

What a great plan.

Which got me to thinking… I need to stop watching the UFO shows on television.

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