Ah.. my building. I guess, Sir Stomps-A-Lot that used to live above me with the vicious, ankle biter dog and the heavy smoking has moved away. Awww, boo hoo. I’ll miss his charming ways… But, alas, the neighbors around me have more than made up for his… moving on. I’ve got a party of four, that has moved in next to me, that apparently have gotten the police familiar with my building. *tipping my hat, Good Morning officer. Awesome. And I haven’t even counted the boy band’s mattress move this week, fucking up MY doorway, leaving remnants of drywall and chipped paint all over the place. I’m quite sure the dragon lady in the manager’s office is going to love pinning that one on me. She hates me. For no reason. And she’s ugly.
Add to that: I’ve got a new couple across from me that -at all hours of the day and night- argue and seemingly have a swinging door policy on chaos. Why do we slam the doors when we are leaving pretel? Oh, guess we are going to stand in the hall and har-har for 45 minutes about lame ass music. Perfect. Just how I enjoy my midday walk to the mailbox. And most noteably, last night, I was awakened by the sound of a woman, delicately dragging her flip-flop covered feet, in the common areas below my balcony, gently throwing up all over the sidewalks. And continuing to dry heave her way home… Oh. What’s that? A hooting owl, distinctly echoing in the distance. That seems complimentary to her incessant puking sounds below. It’s like drunken music to my ears. Did she have sushi for dinner? Never seen that image before. But, at least she quit after an hour and -eventually- stumbled home. Out of puking view. The owl didn’t knock it off until 9 a.m.
One day my sleep, will not be interrupted by instrusively behaving neighbors and chatty forest animals, but I do await the day I become numb to just the regular …sounds of the city. Oh geez. Yeah, right. The neighbor demographic has gone from families surrounding me to dumb ass, barely out of their teens, who’ve never lived on their own status. I just adore the trash they leave out and about for all to see… Great place for girls to toss their cookies into after a night of debauchery, while they try to make it home to their apartment. Whores. Oh my God. I sound like an old lady… Stop the noise! Don’t make me grab my rifle! Damn kids! Get off my lawn!
I know this is the dragon lady’s dirty work… I should send the vomit girl onto her doorstep. With a mattress. And flip flops.