The Moldy Berry Effect


So, the other day… Did you say… “eye” infuktion? Yes.  Yes I did. You may have noticed a ( brief) mention last week about said condition. Oh crap… you’re going to go into it now, aren’t you…. Yup. I do not even know where to begin with what has been going on with me the past couple months; But, after a few posts next week, you will be all caught up. Lucky you! So, let’s start with the latest of infractions on my immediate life, the pink eye and the corneal ulcers… Corneal, what? Right. Exactly. Sounds like the beginning of a children’s story, doesn’t it? So, I am a long time contacts lens wearer. I don’t mind my glasses but wearing them on the daily doesn’t suit me and my active lifestyle. Ok, let’s face it. I’m hyper. And, glasses just don’t fit into my daily hyper routine. I know, I know… get Lasik. Lasik scares the begeebies out of me! Boo!

If I could begin by describing how the tribulations surrounding me have been pouring down like a rain cloud… Or hail. Ouch! Yes, hail is painful. It would be best demonstrated by illustrating -what was clearly-  facial stroke from a berry I ate a few weeks ago from the container without looking at it. I am not being dramatic, mother. My face literally, froze up, like a bad botox injection. Uh, you’re supposed to wash that shit. I did. It didn’t help. Because I couldn’t see the damn berries. How so? That scrumptious little buddy had mold on it and it tasted terrible and before I could spit it out. Why did I eat it if it had mold on it, you ask? Uh, because I’m a ravenous berry-eating beast. And, my blurry eyes wouldn’t let me. Anyone notice the scuba guys photobombing google maps? Focus. Anyway, before I could stop the mouth intrusion, it was too late. I was a frozen facial, moldy berry eating baboon.

Back to my screwy eyeballs… So, I’ve been wearing Oasys contact lenses for a few years now and I’ve never really liked that brand best anyway; adding insult to twinkie squishing injury… My eyes always felt drier wearing them. Stickier. Crustier. Eyes getting veins in them, drier. Even though, they claim to allow MORE oxygen flow to the eyes. Lies. They don’t. At least, NOT, in my experience. I tend to always get these cards dealt; Hence, this proverbial vomit I offer up to you all, week after week. You laugh; But, you love it. Oh, that’s right, I heading to a point here… They’re really uncomfortable, I could feel them in my eyes all the time and my eyes would end up more dry after removing them. It’s not dry eye. That next big thing in eye problems being shoved down our throats through commercial advertising. Sneaky medical field. But, sorry pharmaceutical company… Not my pickle. Maybe its the silicon hydrogel material they’re now using to manufacture the Oasys Lenses is contributing to this? I don’t know… just saying, some women -long ago- have died getting silicon breast implants because they were allergic to the fluid leaking into the body. I don’t think it be so far fetched to say it possible one could be allergic to these shitty ass contact lenses. So, instead of changing the manufacturer’s brand to one I’m already familiar and didn’t have trouble with… because the doctor said “they’re the best.” Or I was just to lazy to fight this battle… Most likely. I just dealt with the annoying effects of the contacts since I had already bought a supply of them. Until NOW. Turns out, while apparently the company keeps fighting to stop class action lawsuits against them and look into the fact that people can be allergic to silicon based materials -like I am and many others- the so-called “best contacts on the market” don’t seem to be the BEST, at all. So, why continue to push them on people? Or revert back to the old materials used?

Conspiracy theory alert: The manufacturers know that these problems are happening. Awareness. Still paying off the doctors to push them to customers. Ka-ching! Eye problems are created. Eye Boom! Now they can make more money off the other drops and whatnot on the shelves. Ka-ching! Ka-ching! And, when customers eyeballs are passed the point of simple repair -ow, wah-  they now make MORE money off their pharmeceutical company investments. Ta-Dah! Oh yeah… Follow the money and you can always figure out why people are motivated the way they are compelled. Make it rain! I like cotton candy. Follow my cotton candy money trail… Booyah! Sugar madness, all day…

Leave a Reply