I had to make a stop at smiths for a veggie tray, cheese and snausages before hitting my buddy’s spot. Good nibbles. Gotta be a decent guest, right? I stop at the crosswalk a few feet from the store’s doors and a guy driving his car, stops to let me pass. Thank you super nice guy. So I give a nod and trot along my way… diligently. He was thoughtful, so I thought… I need to up my pace to show my appreciation.
So I do the crosswalk skip. You know, when you walk or hop across the path a little faster showing courtesy to the courteous. I know, I’m a good person.
And then I thought more about it…. Why is it, when you’re being accommodating, would someone walk so slow to cross the street? A not nice person, that’s who. I hate when I stop to let people cross the street and these mother dockers walk a step a minute. It’s so rude. A step a minute is pretty freaking slow. I want to throw a donkey at them. Do the math… It could take a really tall douche bag twelve minutes to mosey across the crosswalk with his size 13s. Stupid douchy zombie guy. Everyone’s in a hurry until you let a dude trot along in front of you. Who has no intention. Of speed. Suddenly he has nothing to do but make you regret being kind.
Or what about the family of five who walks by way of the parking lot in a cross section in front of your vehicle? That’s always a good time. You’re in a rush, you need tampons… And now you gotta deal with this moron and his band of parking lot sloths. How much more trailer park can you be than to shuffle along like a snail?! Rhetorical. No offense trailer park dwellers,and don’t send me letters, I’m going somewhere with this. Impeding others’ on their trip to CVS. Ok, maybe not… But it’s the thought of the disclaimer that counts. Hey she’s bleeding in her driver’s seat, you jerk, move your feet.