Second Hand Funny

I tend to find most conversation terribly boring. Borrrring…. Did you watch last night’s episode of who cares? Nope. But, I did find that series of please kill me now (and quickly) doing a marathon though…  
Your on a date. Boring. Is this your mother you brought with you? You’re at the grocery store. Boring convo with strange man. Hey, strange man conversing with me in the salsa isle. No, thank you, I’m in binge mode. Bugger off. 
He’s texting you and his texts are just plain, unimaginative, and…. Oh yeah, boring. Yes, I’m hot. Thank you again for noticing. And commenting about it… A hundredth time. Not that I expect to chat about quantum physics. Is that science? Because I know nothing about that. That’s science, right? But, if someone knew about that, try taking that angle… At least I might learn something. Quantum what? At least you’re saying things that NO ONE has ever said to me. Astro…physi… Huh? It would let you stand out above the rest. Molecularly? I’m not the dullest crayon in the box, I can handle it. Not sure if it’s in the most positive way possible, but, I’d take it with much interest. Better than the, hey lets hit the bar.. And drink. And… play darts? Well… I don’t know, darts might be fun. I stink at that game. And bowling. I hate bowling. I kick as at wii bowling though… 
With that in mind, I start to make fun of the people I’m talking to… In my head, of course. Relax, I’m not that rude. I save those rants for you guys. I call it my second hand funny. Funny, crass humor, intended for me and my crazy mind alone. It’s the kind of humor that only an asshole would enjoy… Second hand, of course. 

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