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Walking Dead

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! RITA SLANINA GETS F***D UP IN BOXING MATCH WITH A ZOMBIE KANGAROO! Wait. What? Who’s kangaroo is this?

No. Not exactly. More like a pillow fight in my sleep. Two days ago. I can hear the Walking Dead creators writing me in a part as we speak. That’s how horrid my face looked. Apparently, my loving friend’s cat adores me so much that she persists on sleeping on my pillow and blankets while I’m not looking. To which, yesterday, I took a much needed nap, and POW woke up with this:

Zombie?
Yeah. I had the same reaction. And this was my reflection looking back at ME! I know, you can imagine my horror. I still twinge when I see the photo! I even attempted to make the pic look better… fail. That’s supposed to be “better.” Sigh. We all have “off” days, but what the hell? As my allergy list continues to grow, so does my sensitivity. Bloody hell. I washed all the linens and while I’m sitting on the sofa awaiting the buzzer to tell me its done, this little fur ball’s reign of cuddly terror is back to put me into anaphylactic shock. She’s on the back side of the couch, rubbing up onto my freaking head. Uh, Creepy. The conundrum here is that I love animals. I just can’t be near them or I risk needing to use an EpiPen to bring my hairball-induced coma back to life. Well, thankfully, all is well now and I survived; But, it put me down for a good two days. Nothing says fun like waking up to a real life Walking Dead zombie in your mirror. I wonder how they do the makeup for that series. I can give pointers. I think I may have more insight on The Walking Dead “look” now. You know, since I lived it.  Who needs to Spackle on prosthetics when you can bury your face into a kitty?

Sisany- flower zombie curing chemist

 If I were Maggie and I woke up like this, Glenn would surely be suspicious if I was bitten. Glenn can’t decide if he loves her anyway… shocker. Guys are confusing even on Walking Dead Series where your attacked daily by walkers. Uh, Glenn, she didn’t try to kill you… so you should probably marry Maggie. Just saying. I think they should write me in as Daryl’s love interest. I can be Sisany, the once bitten, shy kind of dormant cutie cell that was only hosting the zombie virus but really isn’t a zombie at all. Oh yeah, Sisany and Daryl sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! RUN! WALKING DEAD ZOMBIES! And I, as Sisany save Daryl and he loves me forever. Oh yeah… I got this.

And See? After, I save Daryl, I find a magical flower potion that cures me. Obviously, nobody on Walking Dead Series knows this, but Sisany -my cleverly written character- is a flower zombie curing chemist. Yes, my dear Daryl, I’m your dream ingenue because I save people, I’m smart and I can create fancy liquids… Voila! I look cute again! Yay!

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