Un Guarde

First of all, I’m a week in to choking down this JOE Coffee every morning, which is absolutely horrible. I’m cranky and if this doesn’t apply to you, pass it along to someone whom it does. So, imagine my loving irritability with you fucktards and your group messaging. Are you so socially inept that you have forgotten common courtesy? …Ok, OK, maybe you ARE one of the lost soldiers of manners and I need to clue you in. I know… my humanitarianism doesn’t end. Again… I know, good samaritan alert. I can’t help it. I’m full of love.

OMG. Let me say it like this… NO ONE, I repeat, NO ONE likes to be in a memo party along with people they don’t f***ing know! Do you think everyone loves getting replies to that said group message days later? From random numbers? From citizens they do not know?! Um, no. No one does. Not even a little bit. …Yeah, you’re welcome. I’m a giver. Uh, and if you’re sitting there thinking about it… it’s a no. A big, FAT no.

In my Rolodex, numbers will be blocked.. including the group initiator. Listen troop text leader, you didn’t ask permission to connect those sheep to me and I don’t want my number given out to any flock that I haven’t personally given it. Un guarde! I challenge some archaic french fencing duel to you perpetrator! If you think being a note courier (more like the village idiot) by connecting me to homosapians (fancy word for humans, get a dictionary) that may want my number, you just put yourself in Rita’s iPhone jail. If I plan on putting any mass community in a group message, the first thing is every solitary individual needs to know every luminary star in the group dispatch and everyone in this specific group message needs to have every one’s number in their own cellular devices. Or said delivery person has gained permission to add unknown victim to a blathering bunch. It’s so freaking rude. Thank you for the ambush. I love walking away from my electronic leash, only to return to it finding 85 text alerts. From some random tally of numbers, in conversations I didn’t want to be a part.

Et ainsi, Je bloque a la mort. Yeah, my french sucks. So what. Blocking. Blocking you. Blocking him. Blocking her. Blocking unknown. Printed matter deleted. Block. Block. Block.

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