Dumpster Hostage

There’s always that one guy (or girl-I know you guys read my nonsense too) that we let escape our grasp… Not in a “hostage,” sort of way. There was that one dumpster… I knew I should have added a padlock. I kid. But when you’re young and dumb and don’t communicate as well… you screw up. I recently bumped into an amazing guy that I, didn’t want to let go of back then, and am still kicking myself over now. What are the odds that after wondering about him, how he’s doing, if he’s found love… this sexy bastard pops up on my doorstep. Sigh. Sexy bastard. He had everything I wanted in a dude. An incredulous sense of humor. Cliche coming… Tall, dark and handsome. Ambitious. Hard working but not a stress case. Family man but fun. Understood me and my crazy Lucille Ball-like ways without judgment. I would have done the same thing… Vitavitavegamin. When I’m with someone I really, REALLY like… I tend to not act like my normal loud mouthed self. I’m not that loud. OK, maybe a couple octaves closer to obnoxious, but come on, cut me some slack. You love it. Anyway, I sit back a little more and let them lead. I’m a traditional girl when it comes to relationships. Not caveman dragging me by hair but I let him be in charge. I know, weird right? I’m such a carefree girl, don’t tie me down, kind of peanut brittle; Yet, I’ll still act like a little weird servant girl to my dude. I’m more hesitant to say how I’m really feeling to them and I’m more afraid of scaring them away. I’m a lot to handle. I know that. I’m still funny as all get out. But, when it comes to the nitty gritty of emotion, I tip toe around it. Bad idea. I’m clumsy and tippy toes will get me a face plant to the floor real quick. Probably has more to do about me and my upbringing or my fear of total commitment to a person than it does them. Tell-tale people. Listen to my lyrics.

What would you do when you’re faced with your “one” person you feel you should have been with? I wanted to just jump his bones. Don’t do that. I wanted to do that. No, I didn’t do that. I’m a Beast. He asks me if I knew that he loved me. I’m dumbfounded. I was so totally in love with him. He’s dumbfounded. Neither of us spoke up back then and both of us idiots thought the other acted completely opposite those said feelings. What on earth? Am I on planet love-tard? Apparently. Population: Me. This is why I stick to emotions in lyrical content… I can say ANYTHING that I want to say in a song. Put me face to face with someone I care about and I’m frozen. Do you wanna build a snowman? I know, I sang it when I thought it too. Long and short of it… he’s doing great. And I’m happy for him. Mumbling obscenities under my breath can be supportive. Don’t judge me. No holding back on emotions when I like Mr. Hot Stuff now. I’m all smiles all the time. Always. No. I’m fine. Nothing is ever wrong. World could be crumbling. Oops, there’s a piece falling into space now. Dammit. Good thing I had my coffee this morning… Maybe I should have handcuffed him in that dumpster?

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