Sucky Friend Alerts

I want to create an app that would allow sucky friend victims the opportunity to let their peeps know when they’re being terrible peers. Wouldn’t it be amazing to send a push notification when your buddy is being a sucky friend?

Let’s say you and your sidekick have plans to go out on the town. You have a set time to leave, you speak to them confirming but they she’s running late. Five hours later, you figure out that this cow has stood you up. You open up the app and send, from a barrage of choice alerts, in this case it would be “you stood me up jerk!” And you can list everything you did and the time it took out of your day so they can see the impact it made for you to be a good chum to them!

If you and your friend go out but her desperate ass ditches you for a guy and you have no way home. Yes, this has happened to me. Just open up the app and select “Really bitch?” Hit send. And voila! She will now be annoyed until she rectifies the situation.

And there should be no end to these alerts, basically, endlessly annoying her until she makes it right. Oh yeah, this won’t be like your alarm clock where you can just slide open the phone and it shuts off. Nope. This will be an interactive alert problem for her. She has to respond to the alert from the app choosing “I’m sorry”, “oops my bad”, or “hey! Im a sucky friend, let’s make up!”

Ha! I think it should take a picture of said friendship violator while she reads your sent notification. I would love to get that in my banner update with her making some whack face that I can laugh at because she’s been busted by the playmate police.

There should also be camaraderie awards alerted too. It can’t be all bad. If you and your girlfriend are getting in the car and keep getting an odd whiff of doo-doo, randomly, you both entering and exiting the vehicle, creeping in the back of the car thinking maybe a stray cat shit on the floor or something. Yet, after much deliberation and investigating it turns out that she had the biggest clump of poo stuck to the bottom of her boot. She’ll get an alert from the sucky friend app but instead of the “your lame” context, she’ll be smiling at the gold stars and rainbows she’s received for “My Best Pal Ever!”

Obviously, there could be a bunch of creative ways to say “You Suck”. And maybe its just me, but I think this would be hysterical. And If anyone takes my million dollar idea without breaking off a piece to the creator -me- then “Boooo” on you! OH! and send yourself a Sucky Friend Alert because you’re just an a**hole. 

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