Yes, please and thank you! Ok, I have mixed feelings about “sexting.” By no means, if you are under eighteen and reading this should you do it, its HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE. Public service announcement out of the way. I would do it if I was in a relationship, I’ve done it, but then you’re always hesitant because what if the jerk puts your peachy nana all over the internet? There goes my dream job in politics. Just kidding. But, hey, look at what having your fruit basket plastered all over the web did for Kim Kardashian. Seemed to work out well for her, didn’t it? Although, I don’t see politics in her future either. Ever.
But, what about the guy you have put into the fun category? Should you send him these naughty delectables? I’d say no, but then again, I’ve done that too. What other purpose would the guy you keep around for your amusement be otherwise anyway. The playtime-only guy would be the most open to sexting back and forth his junk. And believe me, in that case, I want to see that eggplant. Yep, I’d plaster that yum yum all over my wallpaper on my computer… for inspiration, of course.
Maybe there should be some unspoken ground rules here. Example.
“Hey boo, send me a pic.”
Um, “Ok,” I say. So, I take a picture of my ankle and send it off.
He laughs and retorts, “no, girl, give me something to work with… a little dirtier than that.”
“Um.. ok.” So, I snap a shot of… well, something else. Sent.
He sends a “much better” reply and we’re off and running in this sexy session of texts. I gotta say, I’m delighted and feeling pretty hot. And, he’s not so bad either. Until he requests, “Send me a shot of your… while sticking a… and don’t forget to smile” text.
HUH? Stick what? Where? Smile? Have you gone mad? We had such a nice naked game of badminton going and you had to go and volley that. Eh, lost me. Sexting should be a sort of, foreplay, for the real thing, I think. At some point, you can shove whatever the hell you want in the cookie jar when you see me. Well, maybe not “whatever the hell you want.” Chances are, I’m not going to send you that capture on film; thats reminiscent of free porn on the net. And not that I know anything about that. Maybe. But, either way, I’m most likely going to send a photo of a banana and me staring at it like it will probably kill me and flip you off at the same time.