Costco Love, Keurig Loathing

Clearly, my fancy Keurig that I raved about buying almost two years ago has now become the most hated appliance in my home. Boo! I cannot find the pods for this new “advanced” machine anywhere except the Bed, Bath, and Beyond; which has a limited supply, and charges in upwards of $16-$20 per box of 8 pods. That’s right. Count them… E-I-G-H-T. Um, convenience fee much? No thanks.

“Coffee... Without it, I might kill you”So imagine my surprise when I went to my new favorite store, Costco, and saw another version of my Super Keurig which uses the exact same (selling nowhere) pods I need?! Holy shit! Am I excited! So, I run down the coffee pod aisle and what did I find… NOT the fucking pods I need for my Keurig. But you sell the machine. Which they freaking sell in the store. What the hell Costco?!!  I see it, the coffee maker, it’s right there. That if, one were to buy said machine would need pods… that they weren’t selling. It’s like a sick joke. For coffee people. And no, you cannot use the regularly scheduled mass pods currently saturating the market; no, no, thank you Keurig for making the largest paperweight in my kitchen cabinet. Definitely a sick joke you should never play on coffee people. It’s time for an “onion” letter to the Keurig manufacturers. What’s an onion letter, you ask? It’s a (nasty) note with a smile conveying your greivance and simply stating the obvious dissatisfaction. I.e. the coffee maker that makes no coffee because there are no pods to be found for it. Useless coffee maker. I loathe you.

This terrible purchase reminds me of when I was a kid and my dad swore that laser disc was the 412d4-unknownnext best thing. Oh geez. Beta and VHS were going nowhere; laser disc was where it’s at! It wasn’t. We had a cool looking collection on the walls-was it really cool though, really? None of my other friend’s parents had this latest trend… because it sucked. But, alas,  that technological advancement left society quickly. Because nobody cared. Beta tapes lastest longer; if i remember correctly. Then boom. The DVD era came and annhialated all the cluttery collections of bulky movie mess past. Either way, I’m a movie streaming fan and I hate buying crap that I may only watch once. Except Frozen. I’ll still watch that one over and over. I love you Olaf.

Keurig… I’m begging you NOT to be a laser disc mistake! But, if it is then maybe it’s time for a Tassimo…