Stay-cay Vacay

The time has come for my two week stay-cay vacay. Yay! With my yotube yoga sessions hanging in the balance from the wake of the insiduous mattress debacle… It’s vacation hour here on the ranch. What ranch? No ranch. You live on a ranch now? No, there’s no ranch. It’s a figure of–What the hell are you talking about? HOME. Just home… Another name for what I call home. Focus. Geesh!

Hello stranger, may I borrow your lap for a photo? #tryingoutastranger

It pains me to sign off for a few. No it doesn’t. But, whether it does or doesn’t cause me sickness, I can use these precious minutes for catching up on some reading (naked), extreme couponing (naked) or braiding my hair. Naked. What? I don’t know. I likely won’t get to either of those peaceful activities anytime soon. Couponing. Peaceful? No, but the nakedness of it all was, what I’m really looking forward to. Not necessarily the police picking me up for indecent exposure in the dairy case… But hell! It sure was fun thinking about the possibilities! Not at all really. Feel free to read up on past posts, comment and the like.  Embarking on the adventure of a lifetime which involves doing NOTHING. Hardest thing I’ll ever do. I’ve had four days of nothing due to my broken neck -it’s not broken, stop telling people that- and I’m already going nuts. Didn’t have far to go though. Nutcase ingrained. Or nut-filled. Trust that I will undoubtedly -and unfairly- be catching up on freaking everything I haven’t gotten to (like martha strewart-like projects) and that just doesn’t sound like a fun vacation at all actually. Nope. It’s more work. Blah. Where’s the flying ponies?! Flying pink-haired ponies with pretty wings and cotton candy scented confetti from their hooves, that trickle down as they glide across the sky?!

I want THAT vacay.

Not gonna happen.


But, I better just be happy I can sit in the bathtub for three hours, undisturbed.  Getting all pruney and stuff. Dreaming about ponies that fly…

Out here on the ranch. *slaps forehead


DISCLAIMER: Yes. That happened. And, thank you kind man-stranger, next to me at the bar, I needed to borrow your lap and you complied.

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