The Midlife Conglomerate

A small mention of the term, “Midlife,” was used yesterday that I wanted to tap into that a bit further. As I am at the nose-end of Gen Y, or tail end of Gen X-Still not sure about that-I am in the age bracket succeptible to the “midlife crisis” or “midlife transition.” And, as I have noticed that I am going through this, I wondered if any other Gen Y-ers (and most definitely, Gen X-ers, were going through this too… Not everyone does, but, of course the odds WOULD BE in my favor. You can pin, what DOESNT happen to me, more so than you could detail the unnerving list of what DOES. It’s likely a 3:23 ratio. And let me clarify for some dumbasses out there… the midlife crisis for a woman is NOT the same as the transition of menopause. Thats another 20 years down the road. Idiots.

I’ve been researching this topic for days upon days now and what I’ve learned so far?

• I’m definitely going through it. (Although, seeing it surveyed as a “transition,” as if it’s puberty seems comical; But, somewhat fitting. I’ll likely never mature.)
• It is NOT the same as menopause. (Disappointed my monthly visitor will still pop by.)
• It is not a mental illness. (But it sure as hell feels like one.)
• I should be buying a shiny sportscar and getting botox. (If a hot wheels counts, I’ve lready got a Lamboghini in metallic green. And as for the botox; There could be worse things than ending up on “Botched.”)
• Last, but not least: Nobody around you will take your midlife crisis as seriously as you. The person enduring it. (Welcome to my groundhog day.)

So, I’ve been moody. Aren’t you always? Shut up. I’ve been difficult. But, don’t you usually-Ahem. I’ve been a little on the random side. Zip it. Don’t even think about it, jackass. But the main thing I keep encountering is the unanswerable question, “Why are we here?” and “Where is the [proverbial] window I want to jump out of?”

Everything I’ve learned about life up until now, feels like a big fat farce. ( I should’ve just said fart. That’s what I really wanted to say.) While I haven’t finished my research up on the subject, I thought I’d invite you to take this poll above. Let me know if you’ve experienced this fuckery or think you may be starting to have one, or if you’ve never had one and think its bologna. I’d like to hear from you! I believe I have barely scratched the surface of the midlife transition; But, the fact that most people think A) It’s only MEN who go through this, or B) It’s not even a real thing, it’s an excuse for a MAN to toss his current wife, for a younger model; These stereotypes about it have intrigued me and illicited me to talk about it. Otherwise, I have no other excuses for my behavior lately… Except that I may be going bonkers. Which could be the case, since the jury’s still out.