Can you cook? Before you answer that, keep in mind, Top Ramen isnt cooking. Do you google recipes? Who doesn’t? I do too, so what. But I also, generally can throw things together by guesstimating and a lot of times when I follow the recipes they’ve given you the wrong measurements anyway. Which means mine turns out better. Because I’ve altered the recipes. I know, I’m awesome. I’m a kitchen goddess.
But, sometimes, there are people whom- no matter what recipe- what cookbook, what… You tube video? Mouthing “wow” …in a whisper. They just can’t seem to put something on the table that a dog would touch… Bark. Bark. Poor pupster, all starving and whatnot. Gnawing off his own leg. Fido, Stop!
I’m part Sicilian. Not really relevant. It probably just means I can admit how much I love to eat. So, yeah, I can whip up and create shit. Not bragging. Stating facts. Listen, the Pumpkin Fires was an isolated incident. I’d appreciate it if you’d stop bringing up old shit. I’m no Master Chef Junior -gosh, that was a good finale- but I can hold my own. Except in November. With those pumpkin seeds. Hush, before I pop you one. That caught fire. Pow! Bang! Pop!
There is someone I know of though… Well, they aren’t that lucky. You’ve all probably had italian stuffed peppers before… I’m assuming. Italian meats diced up and mixed with garbanzo beans, cheeses, flavorful marinara, etc. But I bet you didn’t know there’s someone on the Internet showing folks how to put refried pinto beans and cheese like you put in a burrito, into a bell pepper. Huh? Now maybe I’m alone here; but this is the wackiest food idea I’ve ever heard. They should be arrested. And a sloppy mess, at best. Arrested and slapped with pinto beans. Sounds like a plan. A BRC Bell Pepper. Sounds like an option item on El Pollo Loco’s drive-thru menu. Listen, people, Mexican food doesn’t go into every concoction you create. And I freaking LOVE Mexican food. And just because there’s beans and rice doesn’t mean it’s a real Mexican food item either. Take a class. Read a book. Take trip outside the U.S. For heavens sake! Irregardless. Pay attention. Did you just scoop those mushy legumes out of a can? I’m going to need a tetanus shot. You don’t just slop beans, rice and cheese together throw it in any ole thing and call it dinner. Driving the point home here… And taking that poor leg-less dog with me. I know Fido, They didn’t love you. It doesn’t belong in a stuffed, Italian bell pepper and furthermore, it definitely doesn’t belong inside a baked potato.