My vehicle looked bad. I mean, real bad. The, I don’t think it’s been washed for two months, kind of bad. So I decided to take my dirty car’s butt to the car wash. Next to me was a woman who had twenty kids, ok fine… I’m exaggerating. Four. She had four kids. Maybe it was three. Either way, they were the sound of twenty. Wah. Mom. Can we? But why not? I was so happy they all sat down next to me. Yes, folks, sarcasm. She had two cute little dogs too. Caramel and fuzzy. Inquisitive little buggers. Are you done sniffing my boot? Ok thanks. Those little furballs were cute only until the fire trucks blaring their sirens drove by.
What the hell?! Those little yap yaps started barking so much right next to my ear. Startled the crap out of me. She apologized for them barking a lot but then we got to talking about children and I mentioned to her that hers are at the fun stage. Mine doesn’t need me anymore. Well actually, he acts like he does so maybe I did a good job? He still loves me… Yay! Whew. My little monkey. Stop being sappy. So, her being nice made me stop hating her. And her kids. And the annoying dogs. Just kidding, she was a really nice lady who was clearly over worked with that herd. I wondered where the husband/father was in hindsight. I don’t know about her situation but if I had a hubby at home, I would’ve left his ass with all that mess and took my time drinking my latte while the car was getting detailed. Sorry, my darling hunny buns, I’m taking a mommy day… It would read like a novel. She was barely heard as the door slammed behind her, as she left the house. Husband never stood a chance to object. He ran to the door, and on their doorstep, a dust cloud. Where she might have stood. And the squealing of tires on the next block.
Oh look, a magazine stand, I’ll take the People Weekly, the Star gossip rag, and the Muscle & Fitness Hers… Oh and “find your peace now?” Yeah, I’ll take the Oprah magazine too.