Commando Cutie

There are two kinds of girls, the ones who wear underwear… And the ones who don’t. Don’t be shy… We know which one YOU are darlings. I’ve seen you flash your boobs before for a free burger… Which has nothing to do with leggings or jeans. Or underwear. Unless your not a fan of panties and you like your pants to rub your personal space the wrong way while your walking. I’ll pass on a good chafing please, thanks. Or maybe you are a fan… Guess you know what category I fall into, huh? Perverts. Today’s post started out as a leggings vs. jeans query. But, as I tip tapped along my keyboard, I realized this is an underwear  vs. no underwear rant instead. So, pardon my fragmented thoughts… I promise they will string together by post’s end. Maybe. 

Commando? Or no?

Without further ado, let’s reveal a mystery you’ve all been dying -I’m sure- to hear. Uh, ok. Drum roll please…  Im a leggings girl! Ta da! This might be due to the fact that as a competitive gymnast growing up, it’s all I would wear. Probably has nothing to do with that at all. But, either way porcupines, I lived in leggings. Literally. Snoozed away in stretch pants. Sometimes I drool, so what. Chomped down in spandex. I’m always hungry. Worked out in yoga style. I don’t always want to work out. Blah. But who does? Anyway, to sum up… I lived in them. So when they came into the end all-be all style that they are today… Guess who scooped up inventory from every store for miles?! I did. Vroom. Vroom. Yup. Mine. All mine. It’s a sickness. Add it to my ever-growing list. It’s quite a long one… I’m kinda proud of it actually. Have you ever gone commando in leggings? By accident. Or jeans? Again, by accident. The repercussion to a walk of shame occasion. Or two. And let me tell ya, it didn’t feel comfortable, AT ALL. Not even a little bit. Leggings, without undies, are just as hellacious as jeans, without briefs. Maybe worse. They cut like a knife on that sensitive skin. I’m not made of butter. Although, I am pretty tasty, if I do say so myself. Like a pumpkin scone. Pay attention. There’s nothing more beautiful than your personals breaking free from a fabric attack. Irritated and screaming for a soothing chamomile bath. Don’t get me wrong, there are some situations where I think the pretty panty should be banned. Ok, so it’s extreme, but maybe you’ll sway my way on this, after I provide you with an example.

EXAMPLE: panty lines.

Yup. That’s it. That’s the reason. Freaking panty lines. With all the advancement in technology, those no-show panty lines underwear are still freaking showing! What gives? So, go commando cutie or wear a thong. But please stop showing us you’re bloomers from the outside. Stop it. You’re violating our visual space with your poor choice of undergarment, completely upsetting the pantaloons to outfit ratio. 

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