Meet me… THE. WORST. LIAR. On the PLANET. I have no smoke screen. No soshi filter. No room divider. I don’t entertain lying when I witness it happening. I will out you. And more often than not, I tend to open my trap and call people out on it… In my own passive aggressive way.  Welcome to the insanity. Apparently, this is an admirable but perpetually annoying quality. Is it? I was at a bar hitting on the waiter. No I wasn’t. I went to the grocery store to find a pony. They didn’t have one. Damn my honesty. 
I can’t tell white lies. Bold face lies. Little lies. Big lies. Green lies. I just absolutely suck at it. I don’t know what green lies are either. Let’s keep moving. What I don’t understand is when someone tells you to be honest… You honor that request. Then they get upset. Wah. Hungry hippo anger. It’s not like I was honest by way of Sheldon, on The Big Bang Theory. Hooked on this show now. Thanks, nerdy friend, who introduced me to it.  Ah, to learn how many more ways to insult people. Without them knowing it. Im sorry, were those words too big for you to process? The words I used to  defile your character. Oh, well… Get a dictionary. Yes, there is a better one than Webster’s. I’m so turned on. 

I don’t know if BADLIAR.com is a website or not. But it should be. And, if it were, I should be a guest host on it. Slap up a wardrobe malfunction and an order of insults. Oh! And let’s not forget the helping of wit and my charming smile to go please. 

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