Game Deathery

I will be either turning you boys away quickly with this post or merely just confirming what you already assumed how we feel about stupid ass video games. I hate them. I can’t speak for all women, only for me, but my loathing for video games is never more prevalent than when I  am dragged into a fucking Game Stop. Hate them, A LOT. The kids stare at the walls of endless games like zombies. H-A-T-E. The dads are doing the same lame ass thing. Hey dad, isn’t there a lawn to be mowed?The moms are tapping their feet wishing one of their idiot children -dad included- will please pick out a game so he can get this show on the road and high tail it out of there! Kill me. I can read mom’s face now… Where’s the bar? 
I know what you “gamers” are already thinking… Dumb broad. Games are good for coordination. Shut up. They help you problem solve. Not really though. And they make you think. Oh, I’m sure those building blocks and slaughtering little lambs for your flesh-eating wolves solved many a real life problem. Blah. Blah. Save it. They make you lifeless, useless and fat. Go outside! Play hide and seek. Tag. Row a boat across the Los Angeles sewer. Fucking ANYTHING. If you let your kids play this crap, they will play from the moment they get up -who needs cereal?! Play through dinner time-or dinner?! And play while sleeping. Sleep gaming? It’s the most ridiculous time waster… EVER. Read a book. Crochet a scarf. Play the bongos. Criminy… Learn to make homemade potato chips! 
There are so many other productive things you could be doing with your time. Build a wooden Pegacorn? When my son is on them too much… I unplug the cords. Oh bummer, there must be a power outage. And change the password on my computer. Sorry kiddo, guess the computer reset itself… They’ll be no cactus shooting, toon toting bad guys to babysit you today. Make your bed. And here’s an idea… Take a shower! You smell like an accumulated video game funk of three days…

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