The Flip Phone Face

Recently, I was standing next to someone who pulled out their phone, incessantly, to check for -who knows what- and out came the flip phone. Does that kind of phone even receive texts? Do you get ringtones on that device? I always find it suspicious when someone is still using flip phones. Maybe you’re a drug dealer and that’s your “throw away” phone. Ohhhh, Maybe your a secret agent who gets new clues sent to that phone before it self destructs. 3, 2, 1….
All options.  Not likely. And every time I see someone pull out an old flip phone, my face rearranges itself. Like a monster. Or a muppet. You know.. The way your mom would always warn you would stick that way, if you kept it up. Don’t flip your eyelids kids. 
I just can’t wrap my brain around the flip phone. And thus… The Flip Phone Face was born. I can understand the Blackberry still sing in existence. Corporate dudes with the emails… I get it. It’s still -somewhat- a relevant device. But a flip phone?! What dinosaur did you ride in on.. I bet you couldn’t even get a signal to call for pizza. Listen, just chuck it. Use it as a paperweight. Avoid the embarrassment. And guys… It minuses dateable points. Subtract, five… majorly important- points. And some you need more than you think. Not an opinion. 
Oh geez… I’m out at the park. And out comes another subject… With a flip phone. And here comes my face….

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