Crazy Bat Shit

I’ve noticed, as a single girl, that people are bat shit crazy. When I was in relationships, no matter how bad those relationships were, I didn’t seem to recognize the nutcases that roam our planet; existed in such droves. Maybe it’s because I’m a certified people watcher. I’m cursed with the vision to see the mentally unstable. Wait. Doesn’t like beget like?

At a restaurant, there was a man having a conversation with his imaginary friend. Yes, seriously. No one was with him and he was chatting away about politics and religion…. over pie. Sigh. I felt bad for him but then I thought, does this guy drive on the roads with regular people? Is he going to know he needs to stop at a red light because there are real people trying to pass perpendicularly? Is he color blind? Stop lights change color and don’t speak. This could be a learning curve for him. Would I have noticed this as much if I was in a relationship? My mind distracted with rose colored glasses? Seeing the world… less clearly. Shrugs. I could have missed his fictitious fantasy and been alright.

And if more people – than not – are this defunct, Forget dating… I had a neighbor fighting with his girlfriend in the apartment building hallways, screaming and hollering. Throwing pots and pans. I think that’s why I heard clanging inside their apartment… even though I was inside mine, with doors and windows closed and I could hear EVERYTHING. And I mean, everything! Discretion please? No? Ok, while the rest of get to hear your dirty laundry landing on the apartment grounds, I implore you, continue to tell everyone who sees you everyday that you hate his little pee pee.

And just how many people are drinking before 9:00 am? I’ve counted more first person witnesses to that morning yuletide in the last year than I can bear to imagine. Drunk by noon? Shit. I wish I could. But I wouldn’t get anything done. Let alone feel I could hide my inner shame for my bottle a day escapades. I’ll keep with my coffee thanks. Being alert seems to give me more inner peace even though if I try to drink more than one cup,  I start to shake like an addict needing a fix. Ugh, why am I so healthy? That’s rhetorical. I like to treat my body like a temple. Well, except for the time I woke up face down on the lawn…. but, who was there to witness that sunrise?

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