OffCouch OnDemand

I am going through the phase of well… ditching my, time-sucking, television watching. I’ve found myself sitting so long in front of the boob tube, that my couch -which I’m still making payments- already has my butt indented in the cushions. My current lazy meter is so terrible that it really should be added to my list of hobbies. Or current career choice. Bye bye television. What?! Time to unplug you for a bit. No! I dont know how I’m going to make it without my Lifetime movie biopics. They cast so perfectly though! Wailing. Or The Wendy Williams Show. Celebrity gossip! Or TMZ! More gossip! Hold on a sec… let’s not get hasty. Do you hear that? Who is that, screaming bloody murder, at the top of her lungs?!  Oh, it’s me.

I have been going back and forth with this -oh so, life altering- decision for weeks now. Keep. Dump. Keep. Dump. To TV? Or NOT, to TV? That, IS the question. Thanks Shakespeare. I appreciate your updated two cents… For, pretty much my whole life, I’ve never really had a television in the house for longer than six months. Sort of grew up with the addage that, if you’re bored, and have some extra time on your hands… grab a vaccum.  I must get this from my father… When I was a kid, the only time we would have cable tv, was when my dad would steal it from the neighbors. Wait, what?! You steal cable? No. I don’t steal cable. Pay attention. The focus is that we didn’t have tv. Not the cable stealing thing. Attention span of flies, I tell ya. Attention span… of flies.

So, after weeks of this delibitating decision… I have done it. THen I undid it. But, then done it, ordid it, again. Oh geez. The overpriced, interval-slurpping, stupid-box is now ancient history. Ok, fine… It’s only been about twenty minutes.  And without incident and with no withdrawals, I suddenly have time to… take a bath? And, finally google that arts and crafts project, I didn’t know I wanted to do. Ooo, fascinating. And get back to some good ol’ book learnin’.  Snore.  Oh, yes… And vaccum.