Hanging out with friends is something I don’t get to do often. I’ve got workaholic, obsessive compulsive, perfectionistic qualities. Whew. What a mouthful. Chomp. Chomp. So when the opportunity came up to do it… There. So. I did. Tada! So I love when my friend wears this ridiculously useless, multi-pocket, parka vest. What the hell is that? Are you cold? Is it hot? How could you possibly be warm when your arms are protruding outside of your body. Exposed to that bone chilling cold. Ok, to be fair. It’s so not cold here. No reindeer on my balcony. Really, it’s never gets that old here. It’s not snowing, I think someone just spit off the roof. It is the most confusing piece of outerwear one could own. And forget the fact that you put your phone in pocket A. Your notepad in Pocket B. And your car keys in pocket… Wait, how many pockets does one vest fucking need? Apparently, eighteen. What if you want your cash in one of the secret pockets (the ones inside the jacket.) Just kiss that cash goodbye because it will disappear into the black hole pocket. Star Date, Captain. It appears your cookie has turned to crumbles in the far off planet of pocketdom. Er, um…. Stupid parka pockets.