Putrid Paper Stacks

I have a pile of paperwork that I have been trying to get organized for about a month now… Anyone else procrastinate when it comes to this shit? Sing it with me then! “Stacks on stacks on stacks.”  No, not the stacks of cash, kind of stacks. Damn rappers.  Geesh, I wish. If I had a dollar for every piece of paper I have to go through to get organized, I could retire. I do what the professional organizers SAY to do. That is, tackle it, one small stack at a time.

Nope. I attempt to conquer the colossal paper mountain fifteen minutes a day. 15 minutes? Eh…more like 4 minutes.  And surrender. And I definitely can’t seem to keep this habit going every day. Nope. I’m getting to this sheet asylum, approximately once a week. For… 4 minutes.

So today is the day. I will stop procrastinating and finish this bad girl slop. Ha! Who am I kidding? So, I plop my phat ass down in the middle of this dishevled paper-fuck and give it a go. I’m doing good, I’m getting through three pages of parchment and I find myself looking around the room. Daydreaming about hiring some poor sap to do this for me. Focus. Get back to work, you distracted cow. Ugh, fine.

After a couple more sifted and organized leafs, I’ve found my coffee maker and I’m enjoying my cup of joe. I needed a break. What are you looking at? Don’t judge me. That stationary was doing a devil of a job mocking my attempts anyway. I needed a minute from this jailhouse nonsense. I just need to fly like a butterfly, you know… I can’t be tethered down by this trivial, office reassignment paper surgery, post-decorated file cabinet redo.

Crap… it’s only been three hours since I attempted this putrid paper stack today? It looks like I haven’t even made a dent! I haven’t. I have successfully daydreamed though and made coffee. Insert cheesy smile here. Plus, I’d feel more upset about draggnig this on, yet another day, but somehow the smooth, bold taste of my coffee is calming my distress. Uh, sounds like you’ve found an excuse to put it off further… yeah. I think I have. And I’m going to take it and run with it. Bye bye paper barrel!